The Water Cooler – If You Had To Choose A New Name For Yourself, What Name Would You Pick?

April 22, 2019 12:00 pm · 30 comments

The “Water Cooler” is a feature on where we ask you a question or provide a topic, and you talk about it.

The “Water Cooler” will be up Monday-Friday in the noon hour.

QUESTION: If you had to choose a new name for yourself, what name would you pick?

Talk about it….

Noj April 22, 2019 at 12:06 PM


Dawg April 22, 2019 at 12:08 PM

First name or last name? My first name I like and don’t want to change it. I have an Irish last name even though I am mostly Italian, so I would probably change my last name to something Italian. My sister legally changed her last name to my mothers maiden name, which is cool but is a difficult name to pronounce.

Anon April 22, 2019 at 12:18 PM

I heard an Author on a radio interview say to not give your child a “goofy” name. It may sound unique or fancy to the parents, but it’s the child who has to live with it.

That being said, no problems with my first name – but it was Always uncomfortable during roll call at school with my last name when the whole class had to be stopped to discuss “how do you pronounce that”? I didn’t like the attention/ embarrassment – I was eventually so beat down that I would just respond with “Yes, you pronounced it correctly” regardless of whether they did….I was shy.

I wouldn’t go for a simple name such as “John Smith ” either, I just wish my dumb last name wasn’t so difficult to pronounce 🙁

Little Toe April 22, 2019 at 3:33 PM

Same here. During roll call the first day of school when I would hear my first name and then the attempt at my last name i’d just quickly yell “Here!” before they could finish butchering it. I hated the mean versions kids would come up with too.

Silva April 22, 2019 at 7:50 PM

Kids can be so brutal.

Chicken Little April 22, 2019 at 12:21 PM

Carl Politis

Kentucky Derby April 22, 2019 at 12:25 PM

I kind of like my name, but I’m going with French Riviera. It sounds so soothing, and I’m part French. Don’t tempt me to book a trip we can’t afford…

AnonZ April 22, 2019 at 12:48 PM

My maternal grandpa’s last name was Luck and there are no more generations. I want to change my last name to Luck.

Cowellian April 22, 2019 at 1:16 PM

I’m happy with what I have, thank you.

Silva April 22, 2019 at 1:18 PM

All of my given names are.. different. I already go by a few aliases, and I’m not spilling any of ’em here. I completely agree with Anon about not giving your child a goofy or ’’unique’’ name, or calling a girl Maxwell or Birdy Mae. As a kid I would’ve been much happier fitting in with an ordinary run of the mill name, like Shelly or Linda. There were already more than enough unique things about me. My middle name is a stuffy old English family name, The unpretty kind, with a ’’worth’’ in it. When I reached the age of majority I changed one letter in my last name so that it’s pronounced properly, and no longer looks like it’s supposed to sound like a word used to describe a slut, and that everyone was embarrassed to have to say.

Kirkwood April 22, 2019 at 1:28 PM

I have a Scottish middle name that is pronounced in Scottish differently than when read in English. Always good for a laugh here. When I was in the military the drill sargents loved it. To this day I hate showing my drivers license.
If it were worth the effort I’d change the spelling.

Ex-coastie April 22, 2019 at 1:31 PM

I have a box of old photos of long gone family. Some have names on the back and one guy was named Festus Funk. Not that I like the name but it is memorable. My actual name is extremely common so I’d probably re-name myself with something less common – maybe Bing.

gittyup April 22, 2019 at 1:42 PM

Funny you should ask! When I was in my sixties, a relative doing genealogical research discovered that my father’s branch of the family tree had been spelling their last name wrong, It is a long story I won’t go into here. As a result, for some time I have thought about changing it to the correct spelling.

The misspelling has major cultural and religious implication generating frequent misunderstandings on the “first impression” front. But, while I like the name better spelled correctly, my mother’s maiden name is a better reflection of who I am. So, I think about it more than I feel confident doing anything about it. I change my mind a lot, and I can see myself not liking it once I had changed it. I also think it is the least of my problems at the moment.

Patty O'Day April 22, 2019 at 1:52 PM

I like my name. I am not changing it. But I wish computer people could figure out how to use an ‘ so I could spell my name correctly on my credit cards and applications.

The Professor April 22, 2019 at 2:06 PM

How about Mohammed? Nah, that one is becoming too common.

I like my name but if I had to pick a new one, I’d pick David. For some reason, I’ve always liked it.

A couple of names that I’ve run into through work that definitely wouldn’t be on my list are: Moorvart Moorvartian and Sister Mary Labia. No joke, real names!

ClayDen April 22, 2019 at 3:00 PM

I’m happy with my name. It would be nice to have it preceded with “Former Formula 1 World Champion” though. I really like being called Dad and Grandpa.

WC Resident April 22, 2019 at 3:18 PM

I am happy with WC Resident. Do I live in a Water Closet or Walnut Creek, or both?

Roz April 22, 2019 at 3:36 PM

I’m fine with my name, even thought it wasn’t my parent’s first pick for me,…already had two cousins named after our Grandmother, Rosina, so I missed out on get it. So my name is a cross-breed of both Grandmothers.
Roz is the name I use to sign my artwork, and Rose since most can’t remember my name, how to say or spell it.

Darwin April 22, 2019 at 3:41 PM

Clubber Lang

Ricardoh April 22, 2019 at 4:10 PM

Tonto or even the Lone Ranger would be nice.

Antler April 22, 2019 at 4:15 PM

My given first and middle names are precious to me because I was named after my maternal grandmother, whom I dearly loved.
Didn’t like my maiden last name because grammar school boys teased me by using icky words which rhymed with it.
But my married last name sounds nice to me….. the only problem being that those from Asian ancestry have great difficulty pronouncing the first letter of it.

Publius April 22, 2019 at 6:02 PM

Bond…….James Bond

Bill April 22, 2019 at 6:29 PM


martinezmike April 22, 2019 at 6:37 PM

Uno Momento

Atticus Thraxx April 22, 2019 at 8:49 PM

My first day of 1st grade I told the teacher and the kids my name was GI-Joe. Pretty sure I had a cap pistol in my pocket too. Try that nowadays…🚓

Ancient Mariner April 22, 2019 at 9:47 PM

Alastair Thistlethwaite III – it sounds so dignified!
If not, Theophilus Goodbody – I could be a minister with a name like that.

George C April 22, 2019 at 10:24 PM


Ellen Teapot April 22, 2019 at 11:16 PM

Well, I’ve already done that, and I’m pretty happy with the results.

lovelace April 23, 2019 at 5:29 AM

first name of Buster…….if you knew my last name, you would know that this is a perfect first name for me.

joatmeal April 24, 2019 at 2:01 AM

Tonto Goldstein

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