The Water Cooler – School Bans The Term ‘Best Friend’

April 26, 2018 12:04 pm · 64 comments

The “Water Cooler” is a feature on where we ask you a question or provide a topic, and you talk about it.

The “Water Cooler” will be up Monday-Friday in the noon hour.

A school in New England is banning the term ‘best friend’. The director of the school said “It has been our experience (which spans decades) that the use of the term ‘best friend,’ even when used in a loving way, can lead other children to feel excluded […] which can ultimately lead to the formation of ‘cliques’ and ‘outsiders.”

QUESTION: Do you agree or disagree with the school’s decision?

Talk about it….

J April 26, 2018 at 12:07 PM

And when they get into the “real” world they think everyone will accept them? They are in for a hard life

Oracle April 26, 2018 at 1:39 PM

Totally agree. This is not good for these kids. The whole everybody wins thing is stupid too.

WC Res April 26, 2018 at 12:10 PM

you gotta be kiddin me….

Concordejet April 26, 2018 at 12:13 PM

Disagree What gonna happen if caught for using the word best friend will they get suspended? give me a break. the school are just out of control

Oracle April 26, 2018 at 1:39 PM

I wonder that too. So dumb.

NoThx April 26, 2018 at 12:20 PM

I’m getting too old for this world. This is insanity.

DD April 26, 2018 at 12:25 PM

Just when you thought this country couldn’t get any more stupid.

WC April 26, 2018 at 12:26 PM

Maybe limit the amount of time each kid can spend with another. So Jimmie cannot spend more time with Alpesh than Javier. Make it equal so nobody gets hurt. OMG do these people even think about the stuff they dream up?

Hill April 26, 2018 at 12:42 PM

Maybe they should just assign friends, so everyone has the same amount and same diversity. Then force them to play together or face suspension.

Taggit April 26, 2018 at 1:31 PM

Why don’t they insist that everyone be just alike, same haircuts boys and girls alike, same uniform, same administrator approved expressions like “Hi, kid,” or, “That is killer.” To avoid confusion, and so as not to get each other mixed up, they could wear those “Hi, My Name Is _______” badges. This would allow them to concentrate completely on their schoolwork and they wouldn’t be distracted by different clothing or hairstyles they each are wearing.

With everybody looking just alike, it wouldn’t matter who your best friend was because one best friend would be just like the next. This would be known as the School of the Yoke of Politically Correct. Of course, they have to weed out the kids with idiosyncratic personality traits that might make them “different” or “problematic,” or “disruptive.” Perhaps they could go to a different school called the School of Everybody Else which,naturally, would be the more popular choice when given a one.

Ano April 26, 2018 at 2:46 PM

Tabernacle does require everyone to look the same!

RSD April 26, 2018 at 1:06 PM


AnonZ April 26, 2018 at 1:09 PM


School: No more using the words “best friend”

ME: best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend, best friend!!

Taggit April 26, 2018 at 1:35 PM

Yep, there are a bunch of songs they will have to ban! Insane.

SF oh April 26, 2018 at 3:13 PM

Ya like : “You’re My Best Friend”, from Queen. That’s a great song! I always knew that Freddie Mercury wasn’t saying that I was his best friend. Kinda knew he was singing about someone else that was his real best friend. Yet I wasn’t offended and didn’t feel excluded or traumatized. Against all odds, after realizing that I was not Freddie’s best friend, somehow, I managed to get through life. Gee, if only this Principal had been there to help me achieve the victim mentality in my teenage years. I could’ve spent the past forty years sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

Rollo Tomasi April 26, 2018 at 3:36 PM

Don’t forget the classic “Best Friend” by Harry Nilsson

nytemuvr April 26, 2018 at 3:48 PM

@Rollo Tomasi….better Nilsson song, RIP

Cowellian April 26, 2018 at 4:21 PM

I’m not in a place where youtube is appropriate. That wouldn’t be You’re Breaking my Heart, would it?

nytemuvr April 26, 2018 at 6:00 PM


Silva April 26, 2018 at 6:10 PM

That’d be the one, Cowellian.

4Rollo Tomasi April 26, 2018 at 7:18 PM

There’s lots of better songs by Nilsson. Wasn’t really my point to decide the best one.

Cowellian April 26, 2018 at 7:28 PM

Ah Ha!
On the USS Ustafish, that was our Field Day song.

Snozzerama April 26, 2018 at 1:13 PM

I’m laughing about this…

Cellophane April 26, 2018 at 1:15 PM

There is nothing good, I can see, from this ban.

Unless getting children to accept restricted speech is the goal, then it’s right on.

I’d rather not restrict speech but teach responsibility and accountability, the price of freedom.

Simonpure April 26, 2018 at 1:16 PM

I hate the word “snowflake” but it sure fits here…WOW

Concord High Parent April 26, 2018 at 8:53 PM

I agree. What a bunch of snowflakes. But they may be best friends. LOL

Snozzerama April 26, 2018 at 1:34 PM

I can see every kid at this school will be moving to Ca and going to UC Berkeley. I’m sure all the school administrators are from Berkeley as well.

I’d instruct my kids to use the term “best friends” all day long there.

Oracle April 26, 2018 at 1:35 PM

That’s insane. Things are really out of hand. I can’t believe the things people come up with! I am tired of this “victim attitude” or whatever is the correct term. Not everybody is a winner and not everyone will be included. That is a fact of life.

Greatest Friend April 26, 2018 at 1:45 PM

I hope they were smart enough to include all variations of this: greatest friend, most favorite friend, friend I like the most, etc. Does this also include all languages? I would certainly hope and expect that saying “mejor amiga” would result in an automatic expulsion. Or should I say “expulsion”?

Greatest Friend April 26, 2018 at 2:51 PM

There was supposed to be an accent mark over the “o” in the second expulsion. Muy mal.

Elwood April 26, 2018 at 2:01 PM


M April 26, 2018 at 2:03 PM

Freakin’ insane. The school Is in New England? Sounds more like Stepford. It’s embarrassing.

Mailma April 26, 2018 at 2:08 PM

Since best seems to be the offending word then it should be banned. In fact let’s ban all adjectives. This is out of control.

Fred P. April 26, 2018 at 2:11 PM

And now they’re generating a whole new litter of snowflakes and future unemployables…..

Mr. John April 26, 2018 at 2:22 PM

A noble idea that walked down the wrong path… Such a wrong path.

A for intent. F for execution.

4Rollo Tomasi April 26, 2018 at 7:20 PM

Since the intent is nothing other than social engineering, I disagree with the A for intent.

THE ANIMAL April 26, 2018 at 2:48 PM

Unfriggin believable………………………

Pookie April 26, 2018 at 2:48 PM

Definitely doing a disservice to kids by banning a word such as best friend. Way to break a kids heart. We wouldnt want anyone to be offended. Maybe they did it because they had no friends growing up because they were a d bag, so this is their way of getting back.

This crap goes hand in hand with the Cry Closets at the Univ of Utah and hugging llamas because you’re sad and stressed at UC Berkeley.

idiot hater April 26, 2018 at 2:59 PM

This Kum-by-Ya Moment brought to you by researchers at the RCI Syndrome Institute…

Pacman April 26, 2018 at 3:07 PM

God help us all when we rely on these snowflakes to pay into our Social Security, defend our country, and become elected officials. I’m guessing all solid objects are wrapped in foam or bubble wrap. Eating Tide pods and snorting condoms were just the tip of the iceberg apparently.

Suzanne April 26, 2018 at 3:17 PM

You can thank a certain group for this whole out of hand politically correct BS! Every group, school, political leader, entertainment, corporation, you name it are so paranoid about being sued, shamed or lose business for saying something that is not PC that they are over-covering their asses by declaring stupid things like this. It’s NOT because they care so much, it’s because they care about NOT getting sued or losing money or having their windows and storefronts smashed and burned.

Fred P. April 26, 2018 at 3:39 PM

So much for “bff”. Wonder what’s next….

And I wonder which political party is responsible for this BS…

Great Gonzo April 26, 2018 at 3:49 PM

Answers the question, can school administrators be any MORE irrelevant and a waste of time and money?

The answer is no, clearly there is limit to how much nothing they are obsessing over.

It's Me April 26, 2018 at 4:16 PM

Educated Idiots!

TIFOKCIS April 26, 2018 at 4:41 PM

Another global problem solved.

Snozzerama April 26, 2018 at 4:41 PM

I heard just last week New England is the new California. Apparently the whole little state has gone rogue liberal way left, further left than anyone else.
I think Jerry Brown wants to run for governor there.

SeeK April 26, 2018 at 5:19 PM


I’m not sure what you mean. You do know that New England is not a state, right?

OverWhelmed April 26, 2018 at 6:07 PM


Silva April 26, 2018 at 5:44 PM

It’s ridiculously silly, and won’t stick. Kids will always have a best friend, it’s a part of their development I believe teachers have a responsibility to take steps and intervene when they notice kids have singled out the one kid in the class who they think is different or weird, and exclude them from group activities, refuse to pair up, taunt and treat them as a pariah, day after day, year after year.

Reality says... April 26, 2018 at 6:03 PM

Makes complete sense – because in real life, including the workplace, people don’t form cliques and when you travel to other work locations they are not allowed to treat you like an outsiders, they welcome you with open arms!

Pussification of ‘Merica continues.

OverWhelmed April 26, 2018 at 6:06 PM


Judas April 26, 2018 at 6:21 PM


Atticus Thraxx April 26, 2018 at 7:40 PM

Mandated inclusion serves neither the included nor the includers as my pappy used to say. Seems like one of them click bait stories designed to get blue team all lathered up. Seems to be working. Nothing, if not predictable.

GettinReal April 26, 2018 at 8:15 PM

Oh geez!!! Are you kidding me? Here we go again- people in today’s world be so offended by everything and putting our next gen in a flipping bubble. I have a best friend, I’m in my mid 30s and have had the same one for almost 20 years. It brings me comfort knowing I have this person whole truly is my chosen family. And I’m supposed to just call her a joe Shmo and act like our friendship is the same as the wall flower who doesn’t talk in case it offends or hurts someone else’s feelings? What is that teaching children- that close relationships of any kind are hurtful to others? Worst decision an educator can make.

Anon April 26, 2018 at 8:17 PM

What school in New England?

Citizen April 26, 2018 at 9:00 PM

Interesting idea!

America April 26, 2018 at 10:07 PM

This is getting so ridiculous!!!

Lili April 26, 2018 at 10:19 PM

I disagree you can have more than one BFF But really, people trip off of small stuff instead of taking care of the bigger stuff Craziness

The Grant April 27, 2018 at 10:51 AM

Not surprised that it was a woman that instituted this policy…

Sue is delighted to be with us for a fourth year as Director. Sue is the proud “Oma” of 7 grandchildren. When not at school, Sue enjoys time with family and friends, storytelling, walking, and riding her bike. Before coming to PW she worked as a Teacher & Head Teacher at a private preschool for 8 years. She has 25+ years business management experience. Sue has a BS in Political Science, studied ECE at North Shore Community College and Salem State, and is Director certified with DEEC.

Mimi (original) April 27, 2018 at 11:49 AM

Oh good GAWD!

Simonpure April 27, 2018 at 12:26 PM

This is why the “Courtship of Eddie’s Father” was cancelled back in 1972…

jbelkin April 27, 2018 at 5:48 PM

OMG, Totally!

Other words to ban:

Girl. Boy. “A” student (unfair to B, C, D and F students). Lockers (sounds like it favors ‘her’, why not lock-him), Student (has stud in it), Friend (implies friend-zone or worse, friends with benefits) …

Blink April 27, 2018 at 6:17 PM

Wrong approach the words aren’t a problem …but behavior could be

Jess April 29, 2018 at 12:22 AM

The real question is are schools becoming too controlling?
We won’t need to answer that. We all know that they are.

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