Claycord – Talk About Whatever

November 17, 2017 19:10 pm · 103 comments

whatever

Happy Friday to all the wonderful citizens in the City of Claycord.

This is a post with no subject, you can talk about whatever you want. If breaking news happens (such a shooting, earthquake, etc.), or you hear about something newsworthy, feel free to post it here.

Please Note: Users who use multiple names will be deleted. Please choose a name so others can easily chat with you. Users must provide a name in the ‘name field’, please do not use the ‘@’ symbol in the name field.

Shasta Daisy November 17, 2017 at 7:12 PM

First poppies in bloom. ✌🏼

MDUSD November 17, 2017 at 7:12 PM

Why is the MDUSD piloting a intradistrict transfer program? Are they trying to let kids go to school everywhere? I notice there is so many magnet programs too?

Concordejet November 17, 2017 at 7:13 PM

Thanksgiving is just around the corner.
I am thanksful I am here first.
I am thanksful we have claycord.
I am thanksful we got a nice weather today.
I am thanksful it Friday!!!

Wave November 17, 2017 at 7:15 PM

Wave….First??

Dr. Jellyfinger November 17, 2017 at 7:16 PM

First!

Cowellian November 17, 2017 at 7:23 PM

Cowellian’s first!

Atticus Thraxx November 17, 2017 at 7:48 PM

Your mom ya it would happen: https://i.imgur.com/gTwaypX.gifv

Coolness: https://i.imgur.com/WfAqRDM.gifv

One of them Hold My Beer deals: https://i.imgur.com/H499SHi.gifv

Wonder what the story is: https://tinyurl.com/y9qtqv95

What a nice duck: https://i.imgur.com/lQ1NDGy.gif

What kinda place you runnin’?: https://i.imgur.com/7fpE0d2.gifv

Very French like: https://i.imgur.com/294NSqa.gifv

Best Pope ever: https://tinyurl.com/y9zg89ya

Kids’ got gumption: https://tinyurl.com/y8zuutb9

This is your brain on drugs. If you buy good drugs: https://i.imgur.com/XvO0z4K.gifv

Bedtime: https://i.imgur.com/1hdYOEn.gifv

Hold everyone up, ya get what ya get: https://i.imgur.com/OwXR4Nv.gifv

3-D printed home…house kinda thing: https://i.imgur.com/EhMzPwL.gifv

Clearly not a bloodhound: https://gfycat.com/RelievedPlasticIndianpalmsquirrel

$10 says he’s American: https://i.imgur.com/M6hhfU8.gifv

I had stopped looking.: https://imgur.com/9DghK85

“Now that’s quite a rig ya got there Hans”: https://tinyurl.com/y7fwqc74

Be funny if he ate one: https://i.imgur.com/qUxLQVr.gifv

Doesn’t like your vibe dude: https://i.imgur.com/YBJQRI1.gifv

Impressive and I have no idea what kind of rifle it is and that pisses me off: https://gfycat.com/TartDecimalGnu

Cute as can gosh darn be: https://i.imgur.com/UnuAWjG.jpg

It’s funny, but not “ha-ha funny” for some reason: https://tinyurl.com/ybykeqla

Look, I’m a stupid rhino: https://gfycat.com/DigitalDimwittedGoose

I guess it’s art, kinda: https://i.imgur.com/zVmHxVw.gifv

Elephant save!: https://i.imgur.com/4KCFWU4.gifv

Somehow the whitest and least whitest thing I’ve seen on the internet this week: https://i.imgur.com/6PcRJeK.gifv

Sound logic and reasonable rationality. Thank you Jesus: https://tinyurl.com/y7syxlug

Just a little bit bigger…: https://tinyurl.com/y7syxlug

Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot??: https://youtu.be/fRj34o4hN4I

Almost interesting: https://gfycat.com/ThoroughInbornBuffalo

I laugh at you and your silly fences: https://gfycat.com/ThoroughInbornBuffalo

Ends like you thought it might: https://gfycat.com/ImpeccableIncompleteArgentineruddyduck

Dr. Jellyfinger November 17, 2017 at 8:06 PM

Oh well…. I won “last” anyway.

Curious November 17, 2017 at 8:13 PM

@mdusd,
Enlighten us . To what are you referring?

Henley's Antiques November 17, 2017 at 8:28 PM

Henley’s Antiques and Collectibles has added a lot of merchandise lately. Come do your Christmas shopping with us!

Henley’s Antiques and Collectibles
3486 Clayton Road
Concord, Ca 94519
(925) 689-2012

We buy older stuff too! Ask for Bob!

KAD November 17, 2017 at 8:42 PM

Cowellian – I liked your last.

KAD November 17, 2017 at 9:05 PM

Atticus – I liked the list a lot but the Moa dog is the best. The elephants were really good too. Thank you.

KAD November 17, 2017 at 9:06 PM

That was supposed to be Mom dog.

Cowellian November 17, 2017 at 9:10 PM

Congratulations, Shasta, on your first poppies!

Mika November 17, 2017 at 9:39 PM

@MDUSD, district has always offered intra and inter district transfers. Something new going on?

MDUSD November 17, 2017 at 10:13 PM

Mika
Yes at the board meeting it sounded like Monte Gardens was going to become an IB school and feed in Oak Grove, a pilot program. They went over it quickly. It sounds like you have to really know what school your child goes to next to not miss a dead line.

KAD November 17, 2017 at 10:18 PM

What happened to the Local Politics thread this week? Thanks.

CLAYCORD.com November 17, 2017 at 10:33 PM

Hi KAD – Not enough interaction. We’ll bring it back when things heat up. Local can go in regular politics for now. Thanks for the comment!

KAD November 17, 2017 at 10:23 PM

Shasta – How nice you have poppies. I used to have poppies but the gardener apparently thought they were weeds coming up and pulled them out. I had a little chat with him the last time he was here and showed him a small one coming in and explained that he should not be pulling them out. Hope they come back next year. They were so pretty and made me smile every time I drove back to the house after being out.

KAD November 17, 2017 at 11:19 PM

Mr Mayor – I was afraid that was going to be the answer.. Thanks for the information. We appreciate all you do for us. This is the go-to site when we want to know what is happening.

CLAYCORD.com November 17, 2017 at 11:22 PM

Thanks, KAD. It’ll be back, don’t worry. Really appreciate the nice comment. Have a great weekend!

TexAg93 November 18, 2017 at 12:24 AM

Gig ’em Aggies!! Beat hell outta Ole Miss!!

Very Cool Store... November 18, 2017 at 8:52 AM

Bob, thanks for posting about Henley’s Antiques @ #10.

I was just looking online for something different for my parent’s and grandparents and could not find anything that they would be interested in. I remember the last time I was in your store you had a variety of items such as antique furniture, old signs, cool old advertising clocks, slot machines, kitchen gadgets, old wood crates, yard art, framed pictures, vintage toys, beer signs & mirrors, vintage concert posters, vinyl records, antique stand up scale, Mickey Mouse barber chair, stained glass door, man cave items and all those vintage license plate topper badges.

I’ll stop by today.

If your looking for something different you should check this place out. I don’t know about you but I like to buy from small local businesses.

Silva November 18, 2017 at 9:39 AM

Yes Cowellian, I liked your last too, clever man!

I once had a similar experience with a mom dog. I had a beautiful German Shepherd when I was first legally adulting. She was very small, fully grown at 35 pounds, and the prettiest dog face I ever saw. One day she mated with a visiting Great Dane, and had one puppy. It was a big puppy. I’ve never seen a prouder mom. I was itching to weigh it in the worst way, but she wouldn’t let me get my hand within a couple of feet without panicking. After two days she so reluctantly and most uneasily got talked into allowing me to take the puppy a foot away to a waiting scales, and quickly returning her. She weighed three pounds!

apollo idol prudence November 18, 2017 at 3:03 PM

My nice Co-worker checks this site out, so I’ll lurk here. . .see you at the Pulga!

KAD November 18, 2017 at 3:44 PM

Silva – Thanks for the story. That puppy was big!!

Original G November 18, 2017 at 4:34 PM

At least once a year despite many previous experiences I get talked into grocery shopping on a weekend day before a major holiday.

Yup still a bad idea, but at least we had a plan, “you go to the end of the aisle an pretend to faint and I’ll go for the Turkey”.

annon November 18, 2017 at 5:02 PM

Local Politics is closed so I will write here. Live in Dana Estates, just received a NEIGHBORHOOD MEETING for Nov 30, 2017, at 6pm in the Concord Senior Center. on proposed rezoning in our neighborhood, Green Frame Linear Park (PL17507- RZ) PROPERTY LOCATION 275 FOOT WIDE STRETCH OF sOUTHEAST portion of Concord Naval Weapons Station between Willow Pass and Bailey Roads. Anyone have information on this, and the need for rezoning?

Shasta Daisy November 18, 2017 at 5:30 PM

So, you are a lurker.

Shasta Daisy November 18, 2017 at 5:55 PM
Edi Birsan November 18, 2017 at 9:24 PM

I am a gamer. I like board games and most people know that Diplomacy is my all time favorite game.

I also like to play multiplayer strategic style historic based or sci-fi based games on the Net. Such as Call of War, Galaxy, Total War Kingdom.

I like to study different game design concepts, having designed games myself.

I have been playing Guns of Glory recently and it has reached its design interest peak so I want to move on.

Please send to my email: EdiBirsan@gmail.com with the subject of Game Recommendations games that are played that you would recommend.

Thanks

Antler November 18, 2017 at 9:24 PM

That really IS a nice duck, Atticus! I have seen other videos of ducks feeding fish and other species of ducklings from boat docks, too. Not sure whether there’s any symbiotic relationship involved….. anybody know?

WC resident November 18, 2017 at 10:13 PM

@Atticus – the rifle is a Lahti L-39 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOFDHX22nh4 is the original video the gif you linked to was made from. The video is about 8 minutes too long but you can fast forward through the junk.

WC resident November 18, 2017 at 10:46 PM

Some ideas regarding local politics 1) I’d like to see the “Local politics,” “politics,” and “Whatever” columns get added to WP categories. That would make it easier to get back to the older episodes. 2) The regular politics episodes are often high traffic battles that have little relevance to the rest of Claycord. If possible, I’d like comments to those posts included in the “feed” on the left margin. 3) Keep doing the local politics things. Last week’s episode had some discussion about the CNWS which is a current/trending topic. Chatter the various school districts, new libraries, etc. can also find a home here.

KAD November 18, 2017 at 11:17 PM

WC resident – I like part of your idea. The Local Politics could just be left open and added to as used. There would be no need to close it out for the week since there have been too few comments. That way you don’t have to look through the National Politics thread to find the Local Politics comments.

Dr. Jellyfinger November 18, 2017 at 11:19 PM

Well…. tragedy! …. Dear old (really old) Grandpa Summerfield Jellyfinger has gone to his great reward… that is, he’s dead. Old codger bit the dust a couple hours ago after he foolishly engaged in a Balut eating contest with a couple of the local yokels down there at Darnell’s “13th Step Bar” in Mudpuddle Mississippi.
I stand to inherit a fortune and a stupid lima bean farm!
Anyway… off to the airport to catch the red eye to Jackson Miss.
Whenever I gotta fly I always listen to this… the original version Jet Airliner (Stevie Guitar Miller was not the first! ) just before getting airborne… gets me in the mood.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjr5U7g6aiA

KAD November 18, 2017 at 11:24 PM

annon # 29 – Was the notice sent via USPS or an email? I should have received this and did not.

KAD November 18, 2017 at 11:37 PM

annon # 29 – I should have answered your question. The green frame/linear park is a proposed zoning change to take it out of the CNWS Specific Plan that Lennar is developing. This means that Lennar will have nothing to do with planning for that area. But it is limiting the green frame/linear park to 275 feet instead of the possible 425/475 feet. (I forget which it is). Does this answer your question?

Stop look and listen November 19, 2017 at 12:49 AM

These fake service animals, aka pets, in food establishments are getting way out of hand. Anybody and everybody can bring their furry pet with who knows what in their fur into grocery stores regardless of health codes, laws and common sense. Nobody is calling an end to this game it is getting out of hand. We’re regressing here.
‘Why yes snake is my ‘service animal’. I also have a service goat and emu at home.
To be clear, I’m not referring to true service animals that are legally permitted. I love animals, have always had pets, and do fostering. I don’t even have a problem with the dog in the purse or outsde dining with pets, c so don’t even go there.

Stop look and listen November 19, 2017 at 12:54 AM

Oh G,
Such creative problem solving!

apollo idol prudence November 19, 2017 at 9:14 AM

Su sonrisa es nueva?

WC resident November 19, 2017 at 12:05 PM

@ KAD #36 – That’s true. The local politics could be left open or perhaps changed out once a month. The regular politics episodes are too noisy for me and so I usually never look at them.

The reason I suggested using WP categories is things like your #11 in this post. I assume you are referring to last week’s Whatever. Finding that takes many minutes now. With categories it would take two easy clicks to see last week’s Whatever.

Silva November 19, 2017 at 12:38 PM

While I may have been distracted by other events this year, and have not participated much on the “Local Politics” thread, I have nonetheless depended on it for important information. Of course I know nothing about Claycord’s costs or any logistical challenges involved, but I am saddened by this turn of events. I think it was a brilliant and invaluable resource.

Concord Mike November 19, 2017 at 1:01 PM

@KAD, maybe you can convince da Mayor to leave the local politics thread up for a full month…call it the November local politics, December local politics, etc. as WC resident suggests?

Silva November 19, 2017 at 4:53 PM

The Actual Voices of Enslaved Black People Recorded From The 1800s; http://bit.ly/2yZOVW9

anon November 19, 2017 at 5:08 PM

My neighbor is suing me for half the cost of a new fence.I told him I couldn’t afford it. Do you think this is a neighborly thing to do?

KAD November 19, 2017 at 6:19 PM

I am looking for book ideas for 7 year old boys. What do you recommend? Thank you.

Dr. Jellyfinger November 19, 2017 at 6:54 PM

@ 47 ~ Good fences makes good neighbors!

Dr. Jellyfinger November 19, 2017 at 7:07 PM

@ Silva #46 ~ Lol! That was fun… I started all 3 videos playing at the same time so they were all talking over each other & it sounded just like Sunday supper at my buddy Latrell’s house.

anon November 19, 2017 at 7:39 PM

@Dr. Jellyfinger, Should I pay for a fence or pay my house payment? If I pay for the fence I won’t be a neighbor much longer.

WC resident November 19, 2017 at 7:40 PM

@KAD #48 – Some seven year olds can barely read while others are already on to books for third or fourth graders. I would check with the kid’s parents.

I remember liking Humpty Dumpty which is in “Through the Looking Glass” by Lewis Carroll. I also liked “Grimms’ Fairy Tales”, “Aesop’s Fables” (the story “The North Wind and the Sun” within this comes to mind), “Pinocchio”, plus “James and the Giant Peach”. The books do not need to be new. Growing up it seems all of the editions I was reading were printed in the late 1800s and early 1900s and were quite enjoyable. If he’s a more advanced reader then “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” was also a favorite. The books for younger kids such as “James and the Giant Peach” are also easy to read with a child. While I read it, I was never as engaged by “Charlotte’s Web”.

WC resident November 19, 2017 at 7:59 PM

@fenced #47 – Check the wording of California Civil Code 841, also known as the Good Neighbor Fence Act of 2013.

The person needs to have followed fairly specific rules such as “30 days’ prior written notice.” Even if the person does the notice correctly there is a financial hardship exclusion available to you. I definitely would document in written notes to yourself everything that goes on with regard to this neighbor. Having what’s known as a contemporaneous record is extremely valuable and can be used to show that the neighbor did not serve notice correctly, etc. A contemporaneous record is done at the time or at least while the event is still very fresh in memory and not after the fact.

Dr. Jellyfinger November 19, 2017 at 8:01 PM

@51 ~ So don’t pay & just don’t use your side of the fence.

Silva November 19, 2017 at 8:25 PM

Dr. Jellyfinger you’re incorrigible!!!

Silva November 19, 2017 at 8:51 PM

And I bet I’m not the first person to tell you, either!

anon November 19, 2017 at 8:54 PM

Thanks, WC resident. At least one person is taking me seriously.

Stop look and listen November 19, 2017 at 9:13 PM

Sounds like a big chase on kirker pass

Dr. Jellyfinger November 19, 2017 at 10:09 PM

Not the first, no… but I need all the incorrigment I can get… so thanks.

Silva November 19, 2017 at 10:48 PM

Sorry anon, with so little information it was impossible to have an opinion on if it was neighborly or not.

Pay up! November 19, 2017 at 11:16 PM

If you own a home it is your responsibility to help with the fence, financially speaking. Leaving more than half of the cost to your neighbor when you benefit from the new fence is flat out wrong. He or she shouldn’t have to live with a broken down fence either.

KAD November 20, 2017 at 12:10 AM

#47 – Is the fence broken or does your neighbor just want a new pretty fence?

WC resident re the books – I don’t think the parents are being honest about the boy’s reading ability so I can’t ask them. The boy says reading is boring which really bothers us. Reading is so important. Thanks for the book suggestions. I will ask the boy the next time he is here to see what he is interested in reading.

Stop look & listen November 20, 2017 at 12:37 AM

I’ve heard, if the fence belongs to them and is not a good neighbor fence then its on them if they want it replaced.
A good neighbor fence looks good or the same on both sides. This is not coming from horses mouth. What does that mean anyway?

Stop look & listen November 20, 2017 at 12:44 AM

Oh no! Another chipotle outbreak. The one on crescent circle was dead the other day. Didn’t look right. Sad.

Marie November 20, 2017 at 12:53 AM

@KAD, books for a 7 year old, I recommend Diary of a Wimpy Kid (series), Goosebumps (series), Holes, and Hatchet. A seven year old probably cannot read these by himself yet, but they are great books to read to him and get him interested in reading.

Anon-2-U November 20, 2017 at 7:37 AM

Neighbor fence discussion – I disagree with the 30 day notice (yes I visited the link to the state website), we’ve never received a 30 day notice. Also, we’ve put up a good neighbor fence and did not receive any reimbursement, as we knew the neighbor could not afford to pay for any of it. I know a neighbor barely gave any money to their neighbor, and as a result they get to look at the “ugly” side of the fence.

Anon – I hope that you are able to work it out in court. I also hope you don’t have to move because you’ve got a (possibly new) neighbor that’s being a jerk.

anon November 20, 2017 at 8:34 AM

@KAD, The fence was still in good shape. My neighbors have parties in their backyard all the time so I guess they want their fence to look pretty. I got the ugly side of the fence. I told them I would build the fence if they bought the materials but they said no. I never received a 30 day notice.

Kentucky Derby November 20, 2017 at 9:19 AM

Neighborhood Fence

Is it “neighborly” to sue your neighbor? No, it’s not. Does he or she have a right to sue? You can sue anyone you want. Whether or not you prevail in a court of law is a different story. Should you give he or she the money, whether or not you can afford it? That’s a decision only you can make. Your only defense? If you can prove that you won’t “mutually benefit” from the fence.

Anon – good luck to you!

Silva November 20, 2017 at 9:54 AM

Oh, here’s a second for the “Goosebumps” series. My boy got into those at around age 8. He even started a little book club at school. They met under a bush at recess! 22 years later several of them are still close friends. I’ve got to get some books for the grandkids now.

slagheap November 20, 2017 at 12:23 PM

shout out and thnx to young ex – usmc concord city employee ( nick? ) in a ladder truck replacing street lamps on willow pass rd a few weeks ago. i pointed out an additional burned out street lamp nearby. it was not on his list, but he made a note of it and it’s now been fixed. thanks, bud!

Mary Fouts November 20, 2017 at 6:10 PM

Thanksgiving Dinner: What’s on your menu? I make a no muss, no fuss dinner, enough fixin’s for the meal, then turkey for wonderful leftovers; club sandwiches, soups, or enchiladas, whatever we have a hankering for.

Turkey: 16-18 lb Willie Bird Turkey flavored/stuffed with sliced citrus, fresh herbs from my gardens, onions, celery, salt, smoked paprika, pepper, butter (1/2 cup melted and poured on top for this size turkey), a few hot peppers from gardens, and a water to coat pan. Slow roast at 300 degrees for 40 minutes a pound; covered with foil. Fall off the bone tender. Time to have finished 1 hr before you want to eat, in case it needs to cook a bit more, and also to rest. No bread stuffing inside bird at this temp.

Gravy: No need to fuss. The Au Juis from turkey will be spectacular without any messing around.

Stuffing: We don’t care for it. Fix on side or in slow cooker if you want it.

Potatoes: Smashed Yukon Golds (unpeeled), boiled with chives or garlic and parsley. Smashed with lots of butter and half and half. Salt and pepper to taste. Did I say lots of butter??!!

Green Beans: Slow roasted alongside turkey. Add fresh thyme, butter, some vegetable broth, a bit of salt and pepper. Or substitute bacon for butter is you are so inclined.

Bread: Homemade sourdough dinner rolls.

Dessert: Either Apple Crisp or Sourdough Chocolate Cake.

Add wine/cocktails to your liking. Don’t forget the chef!

Enjoy this most wonderful Holiday, everyone. Have fun, and no stress!

Tay November 21, 2017 at 6:54 AM

Stop look & listen—-Couldn’t agree with you more about alleged “service” animals. As you stated, if they are service animals, no problem…..but the majority are PETS! I work retail, we sell food, signs are posted about no animals other than service animals. The rule doesn’t seem to apply to anyone in the “me” generation. It’s so unsanitary. We cannot even say anything to the owners because they become so outraged that we dare question. Our world has gone to hell in a hand basket.

Kentucky Derby November 21, 2017 at 10:00 AM

All six were associated with MS-13. We knew it was gang or drug related. How sad.

anon November 21, 2017 at 10:43 AM

CPD is in pursuit with a silver 4 door Subaru on Monument Blvd with paper plates with the words Warriors on it. CPD canceled the pursuit on San Miguel.

Chicken Little November 21, 2017 at 12:45 PM

I take my well-behaved dog with me lots of places, but never restaurants or grocery stores. More like Lowe’s and Home Depot. I even call before I take him someplace for the first time to ask if it’s ok, and I don’t remember ever being asked not to.

In any case, I don’t pretend he’s any kind of a service animal and I would leave without argument if store management ever asked me to.

Kirkwood November 21, 2017 at 5:10 PM

Mary Fouts – Wonderful menu. Roasting the green beans along side the bird intrigues me. I assume they are full length and in a separate pan. About how long @ 300 deg? A sliced almond garnish is good. I am a fan of dressing because I only have it once a year. I include some hot sausage and pecans.
My sister and I are the only remaining family that are able to cook. I will likely bake an apple pie for Christmas. Sadly you cannot buy a good fruit pie anywhere. Millennials don’t know what they are missing.

Dr. Jellyfinger November 21, 2017 at 11:33 PM

Did the reading of the will thing today… heard the term “next of kin” and it reminded me of Greg Kihn’s “Next of Kihn” album and this great song, remember….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPA2CYIGSGk

Silva November 22, 2017 at 8:19 AM

Hey thanks, Dr. Jellyfinger. Sorry for your loss. Beautiful song. Did the Jefferson Airplane do that way back when, or is that a figment of my imagination… I only discovered a couple of years ago Greg Kihn was DJing for a south bay radio station 2 weeks before they let him go.😔

Reminded me of Warren Zevon’s rendition of “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” from “The Wind”. I like it a lot more than the original by Dylan. It was recorded as he really was knockin’ on heaven’s door.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWJvCZsfrbg

Charlie November 22, 2017 at 8:42 AM

Chicken Little – why is it necessary to even take your dog to the places that you mentioned? Leave them at home where they can eat, poop and pee to their heart’s content without being tripped over by unsuspecting people. Just like with children, there is a time and place.

Always Right November 22, 2017 at 11:46 AM

Just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, Girl Scout leadership is now telling girls not to hug family members at Thanksgiving.

What? Hugs are so important for kids and adults. We need more hugs in this world.

KAD November 22, 2017 at 12:03 PM

Charlie #79 – Some (most) dogs like to go everywhere their human goes. They can get bored just staying home. I would take my dog more places but she does not handle car rides very well. I have taken her into the ACE hardware store before. We were on our way back from her Vet visit. It was too warm out to leave her in the car and I did not want to drive home to drop her off and then go out again. She loved it and most people enjoy seeing small dogs.

KAD November 22, 2017 at 1:54 PM

Always Right – I could not agree with you more. This is getting out of hand. Human touch is important.

Dennis November 22, 2017 at 2:38 PM

Izzit just me or are the media skipping today
R.I.P JFK 11/22/1963

Silva November 22, 2017 at 3:03 PM

Always Right, your post made me feel sad. I had to look into that. Here’s the direct quote from the Girl Scouts. I think they mean well. http://bit.ly/2j1yoh9

Reminder: She Doesn’t Owe Anyone a Hug. Not Even at the Holidays.

Holidays and family get-togethers are a time for yummy food, sweet traditions, funny stories, and lots and lots of love. But they could, without you even realizing it, also be a time when your daughter gets the wrong idea about consent and physical affection.

Have you ever insisted, “Uncle just got here—go give him a big hug!” or “Auntie gave you that nice toy, go give her a kiss,” when you were worried your child might not offer affection on her own? If yes, you might want to reconsider the urge to do that in the future.

Think of it this way, telling your child that she owes someone a hug either just because she hasn’t seen this person in a while or because they gave her a gift can set the stage for her questioning whether she “owes” another person any type of physical affection when they’ve bought her dinner or done something else seemingly nice for her later in life.

“The notion of consent may seem very grown-up and like something that doesn’t pertain to children,” says Girl Scouts’ developmental psychologist Dr. Andrea Bastiani Archibald, “but the lessons girls learn when they’re young about setting physical boundaries and expecting them to be respected last a lifetime, and can influence how she feels about herself and her body as she gets older. Plus, sadly, we know that some adults prey on children, and teaching your daughter about consent early on can help her understand her rights, know when lines are being crossed, and when to go to you for help.”

Give your girl the space to decide when and how she wants to show affection. Of course, many children may naturally want to hug and kiss family members, friends, and neighbors, and that’s lovely—but if your daughter is reticent, don’t force her. Of course, this doesn’t give her license to be rude! There are many other ways to show appreciation, thankfulness, and love that don’t require physical contact. Saying how much she’s missed someone or thank you with a smile, a high-five, or even an air kiss are all ways she can express herself, and it’s important that she knows she gets to choose which feels most comfortable to her.

GM Wolf November 22, 2017 at 3:24 PM

I had Thanksgiving dinner at the Marine Barracks, Naval Magazine Port Chicago , 1957 ’58 59′. Didn’t save the menu. Thanksgiving dinner 1960 we invited a little over 200 people to share with us at our wedding reception.

Silva November 22, 2017 at 3:40 PM

Dennis, it does seem that they’ve forgotten.

Kentucky Derby November 22, 2017 at 4:08 PM

This article made me sad too. I think the Girl Scouts mean well, and everyone has their own definition of “boundaries” – and boundaries should be respected.

If you grow up in a loving, supportive home – boundaries are set. Sadly, not everyone has the comfort of a loving home.

I think I get what the Girl Scouts are getting at. Statistically, family members are the ones you have to watch out for, and families spend the holidays together.

Hug a loved one…

Cowellian November 22, 2017 at 5:03 PM

Last!

(Well, it feels like a Friday)

Jojo Potato November 22, 2017 at 5:55 PM

@KAD : I was sitting at a table this afternoon looking at my phone when a small dog jumped up right into my face. I don’t enjoy small dogs and I don’t think they should be runnin off leash in a park that is posted for leash only. I see this all the time. If the law is have a leash then why can’t dog owners follow it. And NO i don’t think yelling “he’s friendly” counts.

Justyfiable Languor November 22, 2017 at 6:49 PM

Dr. Jellyfinger: Sorry about the loss of your grandpa. Hope all turns out well.

Chicken Little November 22, 2017 at 7:31 PM

@Charlie,
I take him with me because he likes to go and I enjoy his company. Also, I think it’s important that he’s well socialized, both with other animals and with people.

Jojo Potato November 22, 2017 at 9:09 PM

@Chicken – your post included “I” three times and “me” once as well as he, his, and he’s. Do you even realize there are other people in this big world of ours? Doesn’t seem like it.

Antler November 22, 2017 at 10:13 PM

It’s after 10p.
I’m cozy in bed and using my iPad.
But I forgot to grind up the cranberries and tangerines for the fresh relish.
It is supposed to rest in the fridge overnight.
Tough.
Lights out for one day, dear Claycord friends.
And I wish each of you a Happy Thanksgiving!

Always Right November 22, 2017 at 10:22 PM

@Silva – Thank you for sharing that information in post 84. No doubt the Girl Scout leaders mean well, but their reasoning is completely flawed. Parents in every culture, since the beginning of time, have encouraged their kids to show respect and affection (including hugs) towards their older family members. It is not only appreciated by the older folk, but it is psychologically and developmentally healthy for the child.

Healthy, normal, well adjusted women (and men) are generous with their hugs.

Now some Girl Scout leaders think they know better. They think girls will be pushed into the arms of some pedophile by their own parents, and the risks of that happening somehow outweigh the benefits of hugs. What complete nonsense.

My daughter was a girl scout, but this kind of paranoid, hyper-sexualized thinking from today’s GS leadership would make me reluctant to recommend GS for any of my grand daughters.

Just a Thought. . . November 22, 2017 at 10:39 PM

First? Could it be?

KAD November 22, 2017 at 11:11 PM

JoJo Potato – I totally agree with you. My dog is never off lease. When I do take her into an ACE Hardware type store or even the Pet Stores that welcome dogs, she is sitting in her basket in the shopping cart. She can see everything from up there and loves it so much. She only gets to go out about once a month. Otherwise she is home and safe.

Silva November 23, 2017 at 9:25 AM

Oh, dear! Antler, I’ve done that with the relish. It’ll be great tomorrow!😉

Happy thanksgiving y’all!

Chicken Little November 23, 2017 at 3:52 PM

@JoJo,
I answered the questions I was asked (OMG, there I go talking about myself again!).

When I take my dog someplace, other people are not affected in any significant way. He stays on leash, by my side. He doesn’t jump on or bark at anybody. In fact, he never even approaches anybody. Many people, on the other hand, approach him, pet him, and compliment him. I have never once had a negative reaction from anybody (maybe I just haven’t met you yet). But if I’m not breaking any rules or endangering anybody in any way, I really don’t care what they think. Their happiness is not my responsibility.

Charlie November 23, 2017 at 5:49 PM

Kad – your “logic” is lost on me. Of course, most dogs like to go with their owners, but must they? God forbid they get bored. Do you entertain your dog all day so it doesn’t get bored? Why do you assume that most people like to see small dogs? That’s like assuming that people love to see small children running about. I think taking both 2 and 4 legged species everywhere is way overdone. I am a parent, but wouldn’t take either human or animal everywhere I go just because I assume that people like their cuteness.

Elvis November 24, 2017 at 11:23 AM

With the act of leaving one’s dog in the car approaching one of the Seven Deadly Sins, trips home from the dog park that combine errands to minimize one’s fossil fuel consumption and one’s contribution to climate change, one pretty much has no other alternative than to bring one’s dog into a store to shop with them.

KAD November 24, 2017 at 2:47 PM

Elvis, Well said.

KAD November 24, 2017 at 5:35 PM

Last. It was a great week. Have a great weekend everyone.

Cowellian November 24, 2017 at 6:28 PM

Last

(OK, this time it really is Friday!)

Shasta Daisy November 24, 2017 at 6:49 PM

End of the day for me, at last.
✌🏼

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: