Claycord – Talk About Whatever

March 17, 2017 18:13 pm · 108 comments


Happy Friday to all the wonderful citizens in the City of Claycord.

This is a post with no subject, you can talk about whatever you want. If breaking news happens (such a shooting, earthquake, etc.), or you hear about something newsworthy, feel free to post it here.

Please Note: Users who use multiple names will be deleted. Please choose a name so others can easily chat with you. Users must provide a name in the ‘name field’, please do not use the ‘@’ symbol in the name field.

1 Original G March 17, 2017 at 6:16 PM

1 st ?
Enjoy the weekend

2 Silva March 17, 2017 at 6:21 PM

Happy Friday, Saturday, and Sunday everyone!! I can see Original G won! Ad I forgot to last. Sigh…

3 Cowellian March 17, 2017 at 6:28 PM

Cowellian’s First!

Y’all have a great St. Paddy’s day, but be careful.

4 anon March 17, 2017 at 6:33 PM


5 Mrs. Z March 17, 2017 at 6:55 PM

Wow. That was early. Happy Friday to all!

6 Concordejet March 17, 2017 at 7:25 PM

sure was early and happy St. Paddy and Happy Friday
Only two more weeks until April Fool’s Day.

7 Scoob March 17, 2017 at 7:49 PM

Please don’t litter!

8 Atticus Thraxx March 17, 2017 at 8:15 PM

Stuff that will remind you of the majesty of humanity before I drag ya’ll through the slop:

Wheels on the bus go round and round:

Bad physics:

Everything Fred Rogers was Trump could never be if he lived a thousand lifetimes and had God’s own riches:

Stop screwing around will ya? :

His name is Waffles. I don’t know why:

For dear Silva:

Firemen and women don’t get enough credit:

Seemed like a good idea at the time:

Nice catch:

To be fair, that’s alot of gun for anybody:

Too fast, too furious, too unlucky:

I gotta go change my pants, be right back:

Not on my watch. Bark:

Flying. You’re doing it wrong. (Warning Fatality) :

Ready for a foot race? :




Brother be smooth:

Dammit, gotta go change my shorts again:

Name the rifle:

9 Ancient Mariner March 17, 2017 at 8:18 PM

Because of the abundant rain we have seen lots of clusters of mushrooms sprouting here and there. A few days ago I saw a squirrel devouring a clump of mushrooms as if they were the tastiest thing in the world. Never knew they would eat them.

10 Atticus Thraxx March 17, 2017 at 8:23 PM

I need an editor…any volunteers? :

11 Atticus Thraxx March 17, 2017 at 8:28 PM
12 Concord 1970 March 17, 2017 at 8:36 PM

Anyone else out there truly miss the old concord
Talking about the concord pre 1990?
80’s were a wonderful time to grow up here

13 Ancient Mariner March 17, 2017 at 9:13 PM

Atticus, I’ll take a guess it’s a Dragunov. Just a guess.

14 oughabougha March 17, 2017 at 9:15 PM

what the hell is going on near the dollar general theres like 60 people in the parking lot this was at 8:30 or so I saw driving by.

15 Ancient Mariner March 17, 2017 at 9:31 PM

Atticus, I’ve taken to scrolling through your lists and looking for your challenge (Name Her, Name Him, Name It, etc.). Then I go back and enjoy the rest of your selections. Nice list – thanks for the fun. Liked the rescue dog.

16 Atticus Thraxx March 17, 2017 at 9:48 PM

I get a kick out of posting these too Ancient One.
Dragunov SVD-63. They have a bullpup called the SVU first came to attention in the First Chechen War. Only the Russians would come up with a bullpup sniper rifle,wacky bastids. Chechens used to steal them and give them to their wives and children to kill Russians with.
Oh well, die and learn.

17 Dr. Jellyfinger March 17, 2017 at 10:20 PM

Russian Dragunov SVD

18 Miriam March 17, 2017 at 10:45 PM

Is it too late for First?….. It’s never too late for First! well, First!

19 Dorothy March 17, 2017 at 11:47 PM

QB VII by Leon Uris, 1970. I’ve had it on the shelf for years and finally got around to reading it. An intense writer that holds you almost against your will. I’m glad I finally read this one but I won’t keep it. This is an English courtroom drama that is anything but dull.

20 half full March 18, 2017 at 7:44 AM

I was ticked when i saw a county connection bus with advertising in spanish on the side. thought we were in america…

21 Bob March 18, 2017 at 8:15 AM

Check out the new crosswalks at Park & Shop–really pretty–wish they would put the same kind in down town Concord–the ones in down town are very hard to see at night.

22 Silva March 18, 2017 at 8:34 AM

Concord 1970, There are some facebook groups for reminiscing.. Sometimes old and fun memories are there. And photos.

Dorothy, I think I’l look for that one, thank you.

Saturday morning coffee with Atticus Thraxx!! Life is good.

23 Silva March 18, 2017 at 9:40 AM

half full…, You thought we were in “America”? Haha! You may want to look at a map. There are two Americas. Figuratively, but also literally.

24 Silva March 18, 2017 at 9:49 AM

Getting Over Rover: Why Our Grief Over a Dog Is So Intense

I’d argue that a similar response also happens with cats, rabbits, hamsters, rats, Guinea pigs, chameleons, horses, and birds. Not so much with turtles, snakes, lizards, scorpions, frogs and toads.

25 Concordejet March 18, 2017 at 9:52 AM

I have to agree that Concord was great back in the 70’s 80’s
Now it not a nice place to live and it already expensive.

26 SFGirl March 18, 2017 at 10:02 AM

half full…Why should it bother you…Everything was in Spanish in this area at one time, as it was Mexico. Seems like a lot of people tend to forget that when they are alway telling people to go back home. Maybe they should practice what they preach?

27 Silva March 18, 2017 at 11:30 AM

My first exposure to daily Spanish class began in 1963 in public school in Lafayette. I continued studying till I could hold my own among native Spanish speakers. To a third grader th the 1960s it was clear it would be a very useful language to know around here.

28 anon March 18, 2017 at 2:18 PM

Does anyone know a good mortage broker? I need to refinance my house because Bank of America is going to triple my house payments.

29 Ancient Mariner March 18, 2017 at 2:56 PM

Mexican Spanish is to Spanish what American English is to English.
I learned proper Castilian Spanish (also spoken in places like Argentina).
Some of the words are pronounced differently, e.g. ‘grathias’ is the Spanish Spanish (not Mexican Spanish) pronunciation of ‘gracias’.

30 Silva March 18, 2017 at 4:07 PM

I got distracted. Thanks Atticus Traxx! Wonderful amazing list of stuff. And here’s one just for you!

31 Silva March 18, 2017 at 4:08 PM

*Thraxx* :)

32 Kenji March 18, 2017 at 4:23 PM

Spanish on a bus advertisement? How outrageous. Next thing you know somebody will be trying to rename our downtown “Todos Santos”. I hear there is some Mexican family called Galindo who even want their name on a Concord street.

33 Kirkwood March 18, 2017 at 4:48 PM

I took first year Spanish in high school and was not interested enough to do well. My teacher was Ruth Galindo and taught the Spanish of Castille Spain. In those days local Hispanics told us they were Spanish.

34 Dr. Jellyfinger March 18, 2017 at 4:56 PM

Aww the good old days weren’t all that good.
Concord had it’s problems & bad neighborhoods back in the 70’s & 80’s too. 4 Corners (Monument Blvd.) was already the “bad neighborhood” back in the 60’s and the apartment district around Detroit Ave. had earned it’s poor reputation too, generally any area that had a lot of “Lowrider” cars was trouble…. and please, I don’t care who likes those junker cars, it’s just the way things were. I think the popularity of lowering cars was inspired by the idea that the drunken, pill popping losers that drove them would not have so far to fall flat on their faces when they opened the door.
Things weren’t as bad as now, but we didn’t have 130,000 people & God only knows how many illegal aliens with their imported gangs back then either.

35 Silva March 18, 2017 at 5:36 PM

Ancient Mariner, A colleague and I once worked in a busy travel agency at different desks an arms length away. She studied Spanish in Spain, I studied it here. She said I spoke like a Mexican, and it wasn’t just the lack of lisping. When further pressed, she said Mexican Spanish is “whinier”. We often found ourselves speaking Spanish with clients, and we cracked up at the other’s whiny or lisping Spanish accents many times!

You may appreciate this; I once found myself in England acting as a translator between a car full of English speaking people from Whales, and the person they had flagged down for directions to Scarborough. Neither could understand what the heck the other was saying. I could hardly detect a difference between them.

36 Silva March 18, 2017 at 5:42 PM

Oh, and I used to look for the “name her/him” first off also, in case it had slipped anyone’s notice ;) . I have chance 00 with the firearms.

37 Atticus Thraxx March 18, 2017 at 5:49 PM

I just heard rock and roll legend and world class sexual deviant Chuck Berry has died. I’d mourn if I cared.

38 Jojo Potato March 18, 2017 at 6:23 PM

@Silva – well maybe not Whales (as in large marine mammals) but rather Wales (as in Gareth Bale) one of the current great footballers although now playing in Spain, Barcelona if I remember correctly. Having long ago visited Madrid, I still do get a kick out of the their lisping spanish. Since some royal some years ago had a lisp, it’s been stylish ever since? I guess so.

39 Silva March 18, 2017 at 6:45 PM

Yes, Chuck Berry was a creepy sicko jerk, but I like his music. And he was a Rock ‘n Roll pioneer. Still, when hearing his music I’m occasionally reminded he was a creepy sicko jerk. Well, nobody’s perfect. RIP Chuck Berry

Chuck Berry helped invent rock ‘n’ roll some sixty years ago and has been kicking it’s behind ever since. It’s not been a smooth ride…

40 Silva March 18, 2017 at 6:57 PM

My favorite Spanish professor said he was teaching us Castilian Spanish, he said the “vosotros” (you, plural informal) pronoun was what made the difference. And the lisping, which he didn’t make us do. He was from Puerto Rico. In one semester with Senor Latorre I learned more Spanish than I’d learned the 12 years before in grade school. It’s crazy the difference a good teacher makes.

41 TIFOKCIS March 18, 2017 at 7:16 PM

Chuck Berry died……………..BFD or better yet: good riddance!

42 Jojo Potato March 18, 2017 at 7:32 PM

@Silva – You kill me, now I really am ROTFL.

From the “DICTIONARY OF AMERICAN SLANG” by Harold Wentworth & Stuart Berg Flexner (1960)

BOZO: noun: A man; fellow; guy; especially a large rough man or one with more brawn than brains. From Spanish dialect “boso” (from “vosotros”) = you (plural) which resembles a direct address.

43 Silva March 18, 2017 at 7:56 PM

Jojo Potato, Whales!!! Whoops! I bet if you tell them they talk funny, they say that they’re speaking it the way it was meant to be spoken or some such nonsense. ;) Ooo, I wouldn’t mind seeing some of Barcelona before I die. Or Madrid. And then I’d get away from town and putz around.. it’s all planned. Going to Africa too someday. Going walking in Jojo Potato’s footsteps! or tire tracks, as it were.

44 Atticus Thraxx March 18, 2017 at 8:54 PM

Maybe I’m being unkind Silva. If he didn’t ‘invent’ rock and roll, I can’t say who did. I do a good job separating the artist from the art when it suits me, I guess in this case it does not.
I’m sitting down with a glass of Jameson Black Barrel so I’m done with internet for the night. If you like sipping whiskey but don’t like the peaty stuff I can’t recommend it enough. Ain’t cheap but good stuff rarely is.

45 Silva March 18, 2017 at 9:39 PM

My first time was at knifepoint in the dirt with a stranger when I was twelve, and I get to forgive whoever I want.

46 Silva March 18, 2017 at 9:41 PM

And he was missing half his teeth too.

47 Silva March 18, 2017 at 9:47 PM

Jojo Potato, that is hilarious!!!

Atticus Thraxx, by the time you read this you will have enjoyed something special that would have been a complete waste on me.

48 Silva March 18, 2017 at 9:49 PM

I’m still partial to Little Richard.

49 Ancient Mariner March 18, 2017 at 10:00 PM

Silva, I know exactly what you mean about local / regional accents.
There are some British accents that just can’t be understood by non-locals. This is a staple of some comedies, such as “Hot Fuzz”.
A Chinese man once told me that there are villages in China in which the people cannot understand the people from the village just across the river from them. Because of the separation caused by the river (no bridge), what started as one language became two distinct dialects over hundreds of years.

I wish you luck on your travels to Barcelona, etc.

And what sadist decided to spell ‘lisp’ with an ‘s’?

As for Chuck Berry, it’s terrible when you find out somebody died and it’s a big surprise because (if you’d bothered to think about them at all) you figured they died thirty years ago.

Cassandra: all I know is the music – I’d better look up the other stuff you mentioned.

50 Ancient Mariner March 18, 2017 at 10:07 PM

Okay, looked him up (no, not Wikipedia).

51 Dr. Jellyfinger March 18, 2017 at 10:23 PM

Geez! I didn’t know all that weirdo stuff about Chuck B.
I remember that stupid Ding a Ling song…. thought that’s what y’all were talking about. Cameras? underage girls?… move over Bill Cosby!
Little Richard is a pervo too, but somewhat less offensive (just a weenie peeker like George Michael….. I mean, I’m sure it’s worse than that… but not so far as I know…. and all that stuff is supposed to be OK nowadays even tho I don’t understand the cranial short circuit involved that makes people go all sex nutz for flap A instead of slot B and I just don’t care anymore… but I digress).

RIP Chuck

52 Silva March 18, 2017 at 10:46 PM

Oh, that stupid Ding a Ling song. I’d like to forget that one someday. The radio stations wore that one to dust, and it was just so bad.

“Chuck Berry, “My Ding-a-Ling” (1972)
The only Number One hit that the greatest rock & roller of all time ever scored was a limp **** joke. Originally cut as a negligible novelty number by New Orleans music great Dave Bartholomew in 1952, Berry first overhauled the song as “My Tambourine” in 1968, then soon afterward introduced concert audiences to this naughty rewrite. As though the sing-along hit (recorded at the Lanchester Arts Festival in Coventry) wasn’t already too long, there’s an overly engorged 11-and-a-half-minute version on The London Chuck Berry Sessions – proof, once and for all, that a bigger ding-a-ling is not always a better one.” Rolling Stone

53 Silva March 18, 2017 at 10:53 PM

I’m off to watch Hot Fuzz. Sounds like a good movie.

54 Silva March 18, 2017 at 11:11 PM

Oh, and Mr. Little Richard Penniman is a gentleman.

55 Concord 1970 March 19, 2017 at 8:53 AM

Re dr jelly finger 34
Yes concord had a few pocket areas that were considered
Bad back in the day.
But not to the level that it is today.
I remember as a youngster going thru the fruit bowl
Neighborhood, Mohr lane and Detroit areas and remembering
Them as being a little rough.
You could walk thru sun valley and not have all
Of the Pittsburg/Antioch hooligans hanging around..
Much better place then

56 Shasta Daisy March 19, 2017 at 9:04 AM

A little respect would be nice.

57 half full March 19, 2017 at 9:10 AM

i understand the spanish heritage thing. my grandparents came here from spain. but they learned english and that is how they raised their family. both languages were learned. we are inheritantly an english nation. i think it should remain that way.

58 Atticus Thraxx March 19, 2017 at 9:33 AM

If you ever write a memoir Silva, I’d buy a copy.

During my walk this morning I found a Levis Co. corporate ID on Lynwood, if your missing it, it’s in the mailbox of the house I found it in front of.

59 Justifiable Languor March 19, 2017 at 10:57 AM

I have never felt forgiveness was necessary in order to move on. What it is.

60 Silva March 19, 2017 at 11:50 AM

Atticus Thraxx, I think you know everything!! That’s sweet though, thank you.

61 Howard H. Mullins !!! March 19, 2017 at 12:12 PM

Doctor overhears two kids waiting for surgery and couldn’t stop laughing at what he heard

Share on FacebookEmail
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other, outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”

The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.”

The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”

The first kid says, “A circumcision.”

And the second kid says, “Whoa, Good luck, buddy, I had that done when I was born… Couldn’t walk for a year.”

62 Silva March 19, 2017 at 12:52 PM

Cassandra, I hear what you are saying, but here’s the thing; If there’s a Hell, Richard Allen Davis should have a guaranteed reservation. Those other two, Bill Cosby and Chuck Berry I don’t think so, I hope not. They lived a good deal of their lives overcoming pressures and barriers you cannot imagine, while making millions of people laugh, sing, and dance with joy. Yes it appears that they were deeply flawed and they hurt people. Their acts, vile as they may have been, can’t really equate the stealing, raping, and murdering a child.

63 Silva March 19, 2017 at 3:18 PM

Cassandra, I was really just stating my POV to Mr. Thraxx, forgiveness is a great thing, and should not be underrated, but don’t think too highly of me. Thanks for your kindness.

64 Silva March 19, 2017 at 3:24 PM

The Music World Reacts to the Death of Chuck Berry

65 Silva March 19, 2017 at 4:08 PM

Brian Wilson on Chuck Berry: ‘He Taught Me How to Write Rock’

66 Silva March 19, 2017 at 5:11 PM

Chuck Berry & Prison: Why Berry Went to Jail in the 1960s

I’m just saying it wasn’t right, but he wern’t no Richard Allen Davis. I mean since we went there.

67 Atticus Thraxx March 19, 2017 at 5:53 PM

Brit Floyd, the best Pink Floyd tribute band is on KQED at 6:00 pm to 8:00 tonight.

68 Mary Fouts March 19, 2017 at 6:27 PM

Just had time to check this week’s thread. What a mess it has gotten into. Don’t care to post anything, other than this response:

RE: Chuck Berry: You all, continue on with your rants, or perhaps start your own “Chuck Berry” pro or negative blogs. His death is a non-issue to most people … like 99% … in the Claycord area, Some soul searching may be required for a few posters in all of this.

69 Atticus Thraxx March 19, 2017 at 6:49 PM

Thanks for stopping by Mary Fouts. You sure settled our hash. And that the irony of you also commented on it should not be lost on your loyal readers.

70 Dr. Jellyfinger March 19, 2017 at 7:21 PM

I did some soul searching…… I found some 45’s I didn’t even know I had, some Wilson Pickett, James Brown, Sam & Dave, Arthur Conley, Jackie Wilson… Oh crap! I just realized I don’t have a record player anymore.

71 Atticus Thraxx March 19, 2017 at 7:46 PM

Soul searching….I see what you did there. :)

72 Silva March 19, 2017 at 7:51 PM

I have done much soul searching, and I still can’t find it.

73 Silva March 19, 2017 at 8:13 PM

I think I’ve seen that before Atticus Thaxx, and they’re lots of fun. I couldn’t find them this time, but thank you.

74 Silva March 19, 2017 at 9:30 PM

Since Cassandra has left us, It appears I’m flapping my gums all alone like a mad woman. :-D

75 Dr. Jellyfinger March 19, 2017 at 10:04 PM

Every time a rock n Roll legend dies I think out loud …..
“Why couldn’t it have been Yoko Ono?”

Check her out at about 1:20

76 Silva March 19, 2017 at 10:42 PM

Dr. Jellyfinger, I know what that is and I’m sure not going to watch. Horrifying.

77 Silva March 20, 2017 at 8:39 AM

I know. It never stopped me before. ;)

Thank you Howard!

78 Shasta Daisy March 20, 2017 at 9:10 AM

Happy Spring!


79 jtkatec @ Atticus March 20, 2017 at 9:37 AM

Wow, unbelievable slow-motion photography. Wow


80 anon March 20, 2017 at 9:46 AM

Struggles to overcome? You can’t be serious? Bill Cosby and Chuck Berry had talents and abilities most of us only dream about, and yet they both chose to squander their success.

81 Howard H. Mullins !!! March 20, 2017 at 6:16 PM

Why Some Athletes Can’t Get Regular Jobs

The danger of having just any sports figures as role models for kids….

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
“I wan’ all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan’ all the kids to copulate me.”

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the ‘Skin’s say:
“I’d run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,”
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: “To win, I’d run over Joe’s Mom, too.”

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
“He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings.”

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
“I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes..”
(Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
“You guys line up alphabetically by height.”
And, “You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle.”

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
“Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ..”

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
“That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.”

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
“He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is.”

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
“My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
“I asked him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’
He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.”

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F’s and one D:
“Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.”

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
“I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious.”

Ah, but they ride to the bank in a Mercedes…

82 Atticus Thraxx March 20, 2017 at 8:47 PM

You know jtkatec I was so impressed by the energy transfer I didn’t really appreciate the photography. Pretty friggin’ amazing now that you mention it.

Good stuff HKMIII.

83 Justyfiable Languor March 21, 2017 at 7:39 AM

Howard! So funny!

It ain’t over ’til it’s over!

84 Original G March 21, 2017 at 9:40 AM

Howard H. Mullins !!! Most of them sound overqualified for Congress or CA Legislature.

In a week or two we can get to planting in the garden.
Checked total for rain gauge up on Mt. Diablo Peak an since last July 1 they it has gotten just over 60 inches. May hit 5 foot mark.

YouTube channel blancolirio has had to me best info on Oroville goings on.
Latest video

85 anon March 21, 2017 at 11:05 AM

Does anyone know a good mortgage broker? I need to refinance my house because Bank of America is going to triple my house payments.

86 Silva March 21, 2017 at 1:26 PM

Kirkwood, I forgot to remark regarding Mrs. Ruth Galindo being your Spanish teacher, I think that is really so cool!

What explodes inside the gel block? That is fun to see a few times.

87 Atticus Thraxx March 21, 2017 at 5:00 PM

Compression ignition, super heated gases with nowhere to go (adiabatic process). Similar to, but not exactly how w diesel engine works.

Pardon the ‘mansplaining dear Silva. ;)

88 TIFOKCIS March 21, 2017 at 5:32 PM

2:45pm Hanford, CA issued a tornado warning.

I am concerned they name the tornado androgynously appropriate.

89 Howdy March 21, 2017 at 5:36 PM

So WTF with the City of Walnut Creek installing meters for parking in private parking lots. I went to Cartridge World and was surprised to see the meters. Also, the old McDonald’s parking lot is set up for metered parking. I don’t go to Walnut Creek very often because of the screwed up parking. Now, I probably wont step foot in WC.

90 Original G March 21, 2017 at 6:42 PM

To anon Get rid of b of a quickly before they stab you in the back.

91 Cowellian March 21, 2017 at 7:03 PM

For Shasta:

I know it’s not what you meant, but it’s what I can bring.

92 Atticus Thraxx March 22, 2017 at 9:08 PM

The Tao of Thraxx —- Redux

Never, and trust me on this, never take Ambien and laxatives in the same night.

Quoting Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War” during a job interview only works on t.v.

Too many birthdays is fatal. Take that to the bank.

Somebody you know and care about is watching hardcore porn right now.

Anyone who knows anything, knows hell isn’t hot, it’s soul-crushingly cold.

In a fight between any 150lb dog and any 150 lb cat, put your money on the cat.

The only people who know how to spell syphilis are doctors, nurses and people who have it.

If God thought marksmanship was important he wouldn’t have invented the double barreled 10 ga shotgun.

Unless it’s Life Flight, there’s no good reason to get into a helicopter, so don’t.

All economists are liars.

I’d worry a lot more about a guy who’s been shooting the same .22 rifle for 30 years then any gangbanger with a Glock. But that’s just me.

One of the truly smartest people I’ve ever met was a women. Conversely the dumbest person I’ve ever met was also a woman. Not sure what to do with that.

Rear wheel drive is and always has been superior to front wheel drive. They were lying to you the whole time.

Given a choice of a lifetime of smoking cigarettes or a lifetime of guzzling soda, take the smokes. A lot less farting .Less mosquito bites too.

The more tattoos they have, the more attention they crave…. alright we crave.

An occasional gift to your mail carrier is remembered and results in damn good service over time. ‘Eff he garbage man.

People who travel are generally more interesting then people who don’t.

The day I cannot bench or squat by body weight I join AARP, go black socks and sandals year round and I’m done trimming nose hairs. That’s a promise.

One this planet somewhere is the current world record holder for number of masturbation acts. I’d like to meet him ( I assuming “him”). Won’t be shaking hands though.

Coccinellidaephobia is the fear of ladybugs.

Pissant is an entirely under utilized term. Let’s bring it back.

Did you know the word ‘Australia’ has three a’s, all pronounced differently?

If you are sitting down in a restaurant waiting for your waiter, aren’t you now the waiter? Mind blown.

It’s 2017 and somehow Kieth Richards is still alive. Maybe we should rethink the whole heroin thing.

Giving your kid a special and unique name will not make them special and unique. Just illustrates your chewed up ego.

If you find something you really, really dig, buy two.

The G.I Bill was the world’s most expensive ongoing entitlement. But you’re not allowed to say that.

I know this Muslim kid. He’s a sweetheart. Sometimes he and I go rescue earth worms after it rains. We jokingly call them infidels. At least I’m joking.

Bilingual people have a cognitive advantage. I wonder if that extends to bisexuals too.

Fish tacos are neither fish nor taco. Not to purists anyway.

Mozart. Ends all arguments about music.

93 KAD March 22, 2017 at 10:49 PM

Thanks Atticus. I love these. You make me smile and laugh.

94 Justifiable anger March 23, 2017 at 10:18 AM

If you are sitting down in a restaurant waiting for your waiter, aren’t you now the waiter? Mind blown.

Has anyone seen my toupée?

95 Silva March 23, 2017 at 11:33 AM

I’ve got pearls from Atticus Thraxx, and I’m laying under an enormous and fully flowering jacaranda tree sipping the finest of fine Mezcals. Life is good.

96 Silva March 23, 2017 at 12:05 PM

It’s 2017 and somehow Kieth Richards is still alive. Maybe we should rethink the whole heroin thing.

And all the fags, too.

97 Atticus Thraxx March 23, 2017 at 4:46 PM

Tickles me something fierce I made you smile KAD. I know you got stuff going on in life that’s taking you through rough water.
I had to look up what a jacaranda tree is Silva. I didn’t have to look up mezcal. Lord that’s the truth. :)

98 Atticus Thraxx March 23, 2017 at 7:27 PM

Is there a more noble thing then easing suffering? No way I could wait until Friday to share this with ya’ll:

99 Mika March 23, 2017 at 8:13 PM

This entire thread seems to be comprised of the same small group of posters. Where did everyone go? Maybe got tired of interrupting the conversation?

100 Dr. Jellyfinger March 23, 2017 at 8:32 PM

@ 96 Silva ~ That reminds me of a funny story I read about Elton John hosting a party in the USA when he was first getting really popular & a lady told him “When you sing you sound just like a fag” & Elton didn’t understand… thought she was talking about a cigarette (fag)… someone explained it to him & he threw her ass out the door!
True story.

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