Column: The Real Housewife of Claycord – Every Thursday at 2pm on

June 7, 2012 14:00 pm · 38 comments

The Real Housewife of Claycord – Every Thursday at 2pm on

Hi Claycordians!

I want to thank you all for your wonderful suggestions on getting in shape and exercising! I’m working on it, but your tips helped a lot!

This week, I want to talk about parking lots….

As vehicles get larger, it seems as though the parking lots are getting smaller!

For instance, the Safeway Shopping Center at Kirker and Clayton Road in Clayton is just awful!

Not only are the spaces tiny, but the people are always fighting for a spot.

On Monday afternoon at about 4pm, I had to make a quick trip to Safeway to buy something for dinner. As I was waiting for a parking spot with my right blinker on, the person backed up out of her space, and while she did that, a man in his early 20’s quickly pulled in front of her as she backed out and filled the space she had just left. So basically, this guy stole my spot!

I pulled up next to him and told him that I had my blinker on and was waiting for that spot. His words were “drive a little faster, bit*h”. I was so mad when he said that, even though it didn’t really make sense. I gave my usual “your mother must be proud” response.

This parking lot has got to be one of the worst designed lots in Claycord and because of that, it seems like everybody is always doing their best to quickly find a space. Not only are the spaces tiny, but they’re crammed together and unless you park across the lot, you’re always going to stand the chance of having your car scratched or dinged.

It’s frustrating when you’re also trying to get children out of the car and have absolutely no room to open your door!

My vehicle isn’t small, but it’s also not large. I have a four-door car, and I still have trouble fitting in between two giant SUV’s.

Claycordians, do you have any parking lot horror stories? I know the Mayor has posted this question in the past, but it’s been a while, so I’ll ask it again.

What’s your least favorite parking lot in Claycord?

Moving on….

A few things I saw around Claycord this week:

  • A man and his two kids, one who had training wheels on his bike, were riding their bikes ON Clayton Road near Alberta. They were actually ON the road, near the gutter, not on the sidewalk. I know it’s the law to ride on the road, but put your kid on the sidewalk!
  • I just read the story on Claycord about the farmers’ market at Concord High School, and I am so sad. I took the family to the market this past Sunday and we had such a nice relaxing time. It is still on this Sunday so let’s all show up and give them our support! Tell Concord we want them to stay!

The Real Housewife of Claycord Housetip of the Week:

  • If you purchase a new bike for your child, place their picture inside the handle bar before placing the grips on. If the bike is lost or stolen and later recovered, remove the grip and there is your proof who owns the bike.

That’s it for this week.

I hope you all have a wonderful week, see you next Thursday at 2pm!

It’s time for me to go make a pie! What kind of pie, you ask? I’ll tell you!

This week, it’s a yummy crunchy caramel apple pie! Click here for the recipe. Did anybody try last week’s Oatmeal Pie?

-The Real Housewife of Claycord xxoo

PILLAR June 7, 2012 at 2:03 PM

these columns are what prop the banality of claycord. keep up the great work.

piktar June 7, 2012 at 2:07 PM

instead of spreading photos of your children everywhere, i bet a parent’s name and phone number would suffice.

Anonymous June 7, 2012 at 2:11 PM

Your Parking story made me think of Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes! Wish we could be her just once! 😉

jtkatec June 7, 2012 at 2:12 PM

This one is definitely for me. I will need to host a dinner party so I can serve this one for dessert.

Miss Ranchogirl June 7, 2012 at 2:16 PM

I made the oatmeal pie last week and it was delish!

the real superman June 7, 2012 at 2:18 PM

I would like to apologize for my mean posts in the past.I have taken a couple of weeks off work for tax reasons[ MAKING TO MUCH MONEY] I have spent a lot of time down town talking to the women of claycord and I can not believe the I Q’s of the women of claycord.Very sad now i know why the cake eaters of claycord like the real house clown. Now go burn your safeway pie.

LOVE MO MO June 7, 2012 at 2:22 PM

I don’t understand where you are

the real superman June 7, 2012 at 2:27 PM


KJ June 7, 2012 at 2:27 PM

Your story about the 20-something rude guy reminded me of that scene in the movie “Fried Green Tomatoes” when Evelyn Couch (Kathy Bates) has an altercation with a couple of young girls in a parking lot. She uses her car to bash their VW Bug. When they protested to her destroying their car, she responded: “Face it girls, I’m older and I have more insurance.”

My sister complains about SUVs because she has a little car and she can’t see over or around them when she’s trying to back out of a parking space. Parking spaces weren’t made for obese cars.

bduns June 7, 2012 at 2:28 PM

don’t worry, sooner or later, he’ll say that to someone without noticing that their husband is still in the car.

Wisecracker June 7, 2012 at 2:29 PM

Shopping centers are planned and designed with the idea of maximizing space and making money; they certainly do not take in consideration their patrons cars and whether they will be dinged while parked.

It certainly appears the average person wants to park right at the entrance of where they are going or as close to possible. As a suggestion, park further out in the parking lot, that’s what I do. I can guarantee people are not “fighting” over these spots. Not only will your car be less likely to get dinged, but you’ll get a little exercise, which won’t hurt any of us.

micheLLeS June 7, 2012 at 2:31 PM

I like the idea but I would use the name and number, as suggested by piktar.

Pyrrhus June 7, 2012 at 2:32 PM

There is nothing worse than DVC’s parking lot. There aren’t enough spaces for the students and the only way to get a space is to either be very early or wait in the car for 10 to 15 mins for someone to leave.

My story comes back when I was still attending there and I had just injured my knee which caused me to be on crutches. I would always have to move my car to the closest parking lot to my classes as going up Cardio Hill on Crutches is not fun. Well, one day I was sitting in my car waiting for someone to leave for a good 20 minutes. Finally, someone was getting into their car. I am sitting there with my blinkers on. The car pulls out the opposite direction of me and before I can go into the spot another car pulls in swiftly into the spot. I’m honking my horn and yelling at the guy, he just gets out with his head down and pretends I don’t even exist.

Lovemydogs June 7, 2012 at 2:33 PM

You really equate what she said to “spreading your child’s picture around everywhere?” Lmao. Thats funny.

Concordejet June 7, 2012 at 2:38 PM

I agree with piktar about exposing childre’s picture on the handle bar on the bike. I would just put a name and email on the bike instead of phone number because bike theif can just call you tell you the bike had been found and later on will come to your house and rob your house while you go pick up your bike. not a bright idea, but it a plan A.

if yuo want to hear stories about parking horror. San Francsico got the worst parking horror.

Apple pie sound deliciosu wil you share us some of your pie? lol

Oh wait, I forgot I hope the real superman is not here today lol

biggus thinkus June 7, 2012 at 2:44 PM

Worst parking lot area by far, hands down, Park N Shop, Willow Pass side by Frys. Heck, that whole strip from BK to McD’s. H O R R I D drivers. Every time I have to drive through it I sound like I have Turrets Syndrome. Lots of number ..|.. drivers .

the real superman June 7, 2012 at 2:51 PM


Anon June 7, 2012 at 2:53 PM

I hate that Safeway parking lot. The spots are small and people drive like complete jerks in there.

Another nasty parking lot is the one across the way where OSH is. Who set up that lot because they have no idea what the heck they are doing. Two large cars cannot drive down the lots in different direction in front of Yogurt Shacks if the parking spaces are filled. What a nighmare.

I didn’t try the pie from last week because I don’t like Oatmeal but I will give this next one a shot. Nice tip about the bike.

Rooster Head June 7, 2012 at 3:05 PM

About new Bike.

Just write the seriel number down on your receipt from the bike shop.

JC June 7, 2012 at 3:12 PM

Totally agree about the Clayton Safeway parking lot. Aggravating. I opt to park further away in that lot and walk. Keeps my blood pressure down.

anonamiss June 7, 2012 at 3:26 PM

Wow. I guess I shouldn’t be stunned at that young “man’s”, if you can call him that, vile and abusive comment. What is wrong with today’s youth that they feel that they can talk this way to people?? I am dumbfounded and as you say this punk twit’s mother should be crapping in her pants on how her pathetic child turned out.

SAR June 7, 2012 at 3:26 PM

once again, ‘the real superman’ doesn’t disappoint!

Justme June 7, 2012 at 4:10 PM

@”The Real Superman”

You are so lame. All you talk about it how much you HATE this column, and yet like clock work every Thursday at 2pm your old lame ass feels the need to comment. Why is that??
Why don’t you try getting a life, or a hobby, something to feel your day with.

JustSusan June 7, 2012 at 4:17 PM

I too hate the parking at the Clayton Safeway so I no longer shop there even though it’s close to my home. Try the Safeway on Denkinger. You may have to drive a little further but the parking is a lot better and the people aren’t as rude.

Haters June 7, 2012 at 4:18 PM

For those certain people , just shut up ! If you have nothing nice too say then get the f*ck out & leave it at that . Your really immature ! Don’t get mad because the REAL housewives has a life & has somethin interesting too talk about seems too me you don’t because you always have something too say every week about her on her posts . Your just jealous . Girl I like your stuff keep it up it gets better & better(:

Concordian June 7, 2012 at 4:18 PM

I agree with parking spots that they just seem to be shrinking. Its rather funny how many spots that are maked “compact” are used by larger vehicles. Most people who drive the behemoth SUV’s do not park centered which leaves little space on one side of the their vehicle. I usually will park away from the front of any place I shop at to avoid being so close to those who don’t know how to park.

As far as riding bikes, when my Wife, Son and myself go riding we do use the street with the exception of when we are riding along major streets like Clayton, Monument etc then we all use the sidewalk. I refuse to use the bike lanes on those streets due to the way some drive. Sure it may not be legal, but I’d rather get a ticket than have one of us injured 🙂

Please & Thank You June 7, 2012 at 4:29 PM

Please keep blocking out the hate mail from the the real stuperman…Thank You!

helen of troy June 7, 2012 at 4:32 PM

Is it possible, housewife, if the young man was coming from the opposite direction, that he didn’t see your blinker on if you were behind the car that was backing out? Perhaps he didn’t notice you at all; he just saw a space and took it. Give him the benefit of the doubt and find another space. It’s not worth writing a column about and getting your tailfeathers in a twit.

#Open Minded June 7, 2012 at 4:37 PM

@Real Housewife-

I suggest for your safety and well being, that you learn to not be as outspoken. Not being mean at all here, just ask yourself, once that guy stole your spot, did you really expect him to back out of the spot and give it back? Point is, you have FAR more to lose than a parking spot when you anger someone like that. Luckily, this guy was *somewhat* sane and could control his temper. Many people are not like this.

Love the column, but remember, we can’t control the actions of others. Spend that energy making sure you treat others better than this clown trays people. Actions do speak louder than words.

@ The Real Superman (yeah right). June 7, 2012 at 4:45 PM

“MAKING TO MUCH MONEY] I have spent a lot of time down town talking to the women of claycord and I can not believe the I Q’s of the women of claycord.”

Wow. How arrogant of you. You have a real gall criticizing the IQ’s of women of Claycord when your posts show a real lack of intellect. Based on your spelling and bragging about your making “to” (sic) much money and talking to women “down town” (sic) , you should just shut YOUR cake hole.
Downtown and too FYI……
I can only imagine the image behind the computer screen.

MO June 7, 2012 at 5:22 PM

To the No Neck..Superman …. there is no freedom of speech here on this website. It is privately owned and you are not in a public place. You are a guest. So you don’t make the rules, you are just privileged to be able to post what you do, which is mostly trashy. And the only thing super about you is your small mind. Do you know why men call themselves superman? Because they aren’t.

Housewife, that pie sounds wonderful…this week.

Now for parking lots spaces…same all over…the spaces get narrower and narrower….the last three cars I’ve had have not fit….I had a GMC Envoy SUV..didn’t fit in any space..then a Buick Enclave…it didn’t fit either. Now I have downsized to a sedan, a Buick LaCrosse. Well you cannot open the doors wide enough to get out without touching the car in the next space. I believe they are just trying to pack more people into these lots. But….now that I am old an have some issues, I have a blue card to hang on my rear view mirror…and I take a blue spot. I feel kind of bad about it..cause maybe someone worse off needs it more, but I’m just about on my last nerve the way people treat each other…so I just pull into that wide spot close to the front door and think only of myself. (that is so bad).

From the farm

Chuckie's Wife June 7, 2012 at 5:30 PM

@the (Un)Real Superman

Of course you couldn’t come up with the correct IQ of the women of Claycord – you can’t count that far! In your two posts I found at least three misspellings…for someone who makes to [sic] much money, that’s a lot of mistakes. I think you’re an unemployed low-life who has nothing better to do than to troll this site and spew your stupid comments.

For the record, that’s more of a reflection on you and your inferiority complex than it is on the columnist or her readers.

By the way, the correct spelling is too much, not to much. Me thinks you’ve been sniffing too much glue lately.

Elwood June 7, 2012 at 6:10 PM

@ therealsuperman #8

Let me hazard a guess.

Because you’re a sphincter?

the real superman June 7, 2012 at 7:23 PM


The Grant June 7, 2012 at 9:37 PM

To: Americans

Stop being fat and lazy attempting to park close to your destination. Am sure a longer walk would serve the majority of you well.


Citizen of the World

mika June 7, 2012 at 10:49 PM

Too bad all parking lots aren’t like Costco. Lots of room to park, ample space between cars.

@ the real superman June 8, 2012 at 8:32 PM

the real superman June 7, 2012 at 2:51 PM

Take your turrets (EVERY HAHAPPENED included) somewhere else……….not interested.

Great June 8, 2012 at 10:48 PM

Another column about whining and complaining….great.

What’s next week going to be?

“Hello Claycordians, today I would like to talk about annoying clowns from outer space”

Can’t you come up with a better opening then, “Hello Claycordians, today I would like to talk about blah blah whine blah”?…it’s rather redundant and tasteless.

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