Column: The Real Housewife of Claycord – Every Thursday at 2pm on

April 26, 2012 14:00 pm · 58 comments

The Real Housewife of Claycord – Every Thursday at 2pm on

Hi Claycordians!

I’m back! Yay!

This week, I want to talk about the neighbor with a punk son….

I try to teach my kids to be polite. I know in the future (in their teens) they will use bad words (f*ck, sh*t, etc.), but right now, I’d like to keep their mouths clean from what we call “cuss words”.

I have a neighbor who lives across the street from us who has a teenage son, I believe he’s 19. He’s a little bit of a punk and thinks he’s a tough guy. For some reason this kid spends all day outside on his phone, cussing up a storm. Every other word is “f*ck this” or “f*ck that”. You get the point. Anyway, this kid, who doesn’t seem to have a job or go to college, had his friends over the other day while we were in the front yard gardening with the kids. His friends came over and started playing Lil’ Wayne (yes, I am familiar with Lil’ Wayne’s music). So while we’re trying to garden, Lil’ Wayne is reminding us about how he was raised in the hood with a girl’s legs around his neck and a chopper in his car. Lovely.

My husband walked over to the neighbor’s house to ask them to lower the music (not turn it off), and they lowered it, but then turned it up again once another friend came over.

I know my kids can’t be protected from the bad words, I’m not a stupid lady and I do understand that they’re going to hear it, but come on, do they really have to hear it in the front yard of their home?

Our neighbor, who has had many visits from the local police force, seems to have no control over her son. Music and yelling at all hours of the day and night isn’t uncommon at their house, and we’ve had some curious “smells” coming from the home when his friends are visiting.

Other neighbors have complained to her, but nothing has changed. Even the cranky old guy next door has made a fuss, but things are still the same.

What should we do? The music outside seems to happen everyday, and it’s loud. I don’t really want my kids knowing what the definition of “doggy style” is, nor do I want them to repeat the phrase “roll a fatty” by the time they’re six.

Moving on….

A few things I saw around Claycord this week:

  • Somebody egged the Redbox video rental machine in front of CVS. Thanks, idiot.
  • I thought I’d pick up some donuts at Krispy Kreme for my co-workers at the mall. When I arrived to the Willows, there must have been 20 cars waiting in the KK drive-thru. They’re good, but not THAT good.
  • I had my gas stolen this week. Some loser punched a hole in my gas tank. I called the police but the front desk lady told me to make a report online. Frustrating!

The Real Housewife of Claycord Housetip of the Week:

  • Place bay leaves in kitchen drawers and in flour and sugar sacks to keep crawling insects away.

That’s it for this week.

I hope you all have a wonderful week, see you next Thursday at 2pm!

It’s time for me to go make a pie!

-The Real Housewife of Claycord xxoo

1 SK April 26, 2012 at 2:17 PM

Don’t leave flour and sugar in sacks, put it in secure containers, and you won’t have to bother with the bay leaves.

2 John Galt April 26, 2012 at 2:21 PM

Your husband seems to be every bit as miserable of a person as you are. If you want peace and quite, move to a nicer neighborhood. When you live in a ghetto, you get Lil Wayne.

3 the real superman April 26, 2012 at 2:29 PM

Who has a garden in there front yard.Your blog is is worse than your neighbors music now it’s in black and white for everybody to see thanks. If you think that you are the great person you think you are get your neighbor a job down at the mall. Now go burn a pie or do something .

4 Dude April 26, 2012 at 2:35 PM

You’re incredibly naive to think your kids won’t swear until they’re teenagers. That said, and it pains me to say this, but I get where you’re coming from. The thing is, your kids will hear this stuff on the radio at any hour of the day and some of it on network television (most definitely on basic cable).

5 Wisecracker April 26, 2012 at 2:36 PM

I understand your gripe… My first suggestion would be to have YOUR children play in your BACK yard… then you will more than likely hear less loud music of your neighbor playing in their front yard.

6 jtkatec April 26, 2012 at 2:38 PM

I have a garden in my front yard, Superman. And I have a garden in the backyard also. Silly way to design houses in suburbia, isn’t it.

Housewife, fight back with polka music. Whenever you hear their music being played loud, put the speakers out on the front porch and turn up the polka music. They’ll get the idea.

7 Nick April 26, 2012 at 2:38 PM

Earlier today I made a comment on another thread about the uselessness of locking gas caps because the thief will just drill your tank. Sometimes I hate being right.

8 Shiloh April 26, 2012 at 2:39 PM

@superman, you’ve never seen a flower garden in a front yard? And my front yard is fairly large and I do have a vegetable garden on one side of it . . as do several other people that I can think of.

9 Shiloh April 26, 2012 at 2:43 PM

@real housewife, Call the police every time you smell that smell – and ESPECIALLY if you think some of those friends who are hanging around out front are ever in the process of selling/buying drugs. Just keep calling. If the music is loud at night, call and report a “party”. Make it difficult to be inconsiderate in your neighborhood. At least he’s 19, hopefully he will move out soon. And I’m sure you know this but always be nice to the police :) The dispatchers will generally be rude, no matter what you are calling about but as long as you are nice to the police, they will be nice and follow through on your calls.

10 Concord Mom April 26, 2012 at 2:43 PM

@#2 and @#3

You’re both fools!

11 AnonymoUs April 26, 2012 at 2:46 PM

Geez, Cranky responses!

12 Julie April 26, 2012 at 2:47 PM

we had a few ghetto type people rent the house across from us when we lived in pleasant hill, when our kids were young. one chick thought nothing of getting out her plastic lounge chair, and laying out to tan, with the top off, laying on her front, of course. side boobage was gross. nice tall, uncut grass in the front, beater cars in the driveway. hickville. I hated it, but chose to spend my time NOT in the front yard if they were out there. and they were. More than I wish they were. It’s all about choices. If I were you, I’d move. The punk ghetto kid and his friends will NEVER care what the neighbors think. NEVER.
I think Concord in general is ghetto, trash, and will always be that way. You can’t class-up a town that has gone downhill, because the no-class people will choose to live there. So, who are you willing to be? No class, or move?

13 jtkatec April 26, 2012 at 2:50 PM

Concord Mom, I won’t call them fools but I do believe they are very young and not very experienced in life

14 anon April 26, 2012 at 2:50 PM

#2 and #3 are probably the same miserable d**ckhead. People with plants and grass in their front do have to mow and trim. These guys probably have cars instead of lawns so know what ghetto is. Unfortunately this 19 year old will probably be there for another 10 years or until his goes to jail.

You and each neighbor can sue in small claims court.

To win, you’ll need to show:
1.There is excessive and disturbing noise.
2. The person you are suing is either creating the noise or is the landlord and therefore responsible.
3. Your enjoyment of your home is affected.
4. You have asked the person to stop the noise.

To prove your case, use police reports, witnesses, your own testimony, or even a recording.

15 CreekRes April 26, 2012 at 2:56 PM

Sorry to hear about your idiot neighbor :( Unfortunately bad neighbors seem to be a fact of life these days. Almost all of my friends and family are dealing with similar issues. My husband and I had so many problems with our noisy and inconsiderate neighbors that we decided to rent out the house we own and rent another home in a quieter area. You totally have my sympathy. Keep up the good work on the column!

By the way, isn’t it funny that the guys who leave the hateful comments don’t realize that all they are really doing is announcing to the world how sad and miserable their own lives are? It’s sad, really. Hope they can find more meaning in life than putting others down.

16 Rob April 26, 2012 at 2:58 PM

Next time you smell something that you don’t recognize call the cops and tell them that you smell something that might be drugs and (since people seem to show up and then leave at some point) that there are people coming and going all the time (don’t say it looks like drug dealing, just let the cops infer whatever they want).

As for the music – most cities have noise ordinances – Concord is horrible so most likely you can expect no help at all from the Concord Police – but if you live in Clayton there might be some response.

If you want to fight fire with fire get some directional speakers mounted to the front of your house backed up with a nice phat (yeah that words means I’m hip – LOL) amp to pump some serious Polka music right at the punks house when he is outside playing his music.

17 Cowellian April 26, 2012 at 3:00 PM

You and at least 20 other people wanted some Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Maybe they really are THAT good.

18 CoCoOld April 26, 2012 at 3:02 PM

(chuckle) In the nicest way possible, as a long-time mother myself, I would like to tell you that you are being pretty naive to think that a 19 year old who is not your own is going to turn down his music if you ask him to. Wait till your kids are that age. My advice is to play Raffi (or whoever is the hot kids’ singer) at top volume from your own yard for a few days. Much better revenge.

And King’s donuts are much better anyway.

19 kingsvtsis April 26, 2012 at 3:04 PM

It sounds like the “family” that used to live across the street from me, now live across from you. Good luck with that. And so sorry.

20 Nick April 26, 2012 at 3:05 PM

Shiloh, while I find your optimism refreshing, this kid doesn’t sound like a young man that will be leaving the nest any time soon. Although there is a decent likelihood that he will end up in the county hotel so perhaps you are right after all.

21 SAR April 26, 2012 at 3:07 PM

I really like this Column!!! some of the ‘anit-column’ commentators are as stupid as the stuff they type!

22 KJ April 26, 2012 at 3:08 PM

I am happy to say I do not know who Lil’ Wayne is, but I can imagine.

If it were me, I would play classical music as I gardened, in particular opera. Chances are good that the teens will move to their backyard, or better still, inside.

23 Another real housewife April 26, 2012 at 3:19 PM

Yikes! So many negative comments. I love this column!

24 anonanonagain April 26, 2012 at 3:48 PM

@ Julie, It’s not the city of Concord’s fault that it has more affordable housing than the outlining areas, besides Pittsburg, Antioch etc. It seems that along with poverty and the breakdown of family, you are going to hear more language from the gutter.
When I was growing up, my parents never used swear words and we were EXPECTED to do the same in our household. We also had a varied educated vocabulary, so we had no need for trashy fillers such as swear words. Those were the days when you would only hear people that swore, who had absolutely no class and were trash. Now it has populated our language and song as if it were the words of Wordsworth or Shakespeare.
I know my son will eventually ask about what those words mean and probably will use them to fit in with his friends, but in our house it will be forbidden to talk like you are swimming in the gutter………

25 ChampagneKitty April 26, 2012 at 4:03 PM

@ Rob: polka music…tee hee hee!

26 Screwy Louie April 26, 2012 at 4:10 PM

Just like Shiloh @9 & Rob @16,
You should always call the police when the party boys show up.
Make sure You describe the second you called your kids in from the music and saw (pick one) stash something (shiny, metallic, black) in his
(car, waistband). Finish with (I’m in the house now, and scared)
They’ll be cuffed on the ground in 2-5 minutes by 2-3 cops.
Fun to watch. Efficient use of services, word will get out,
problem solved.
You were protecting your kids and you (your Husband) thought
you saw something. The burden of proof doesn’t fall on you if they
don’t find anything during the search.

27 anon April 26, 2012 at 4:19 PM

in my old neighborhood we organized a neighborhood watch because of a similar type family. So talk to your neighbors and see if they’re fed up, too.

In our experience, CPD was reluctant to come out for random calls, but when they realized a group of us were upset and about to take action as a group by ourselves they sent out a team to help us organize.

28 Yikes April 26, 2012 at 4:35 PM

Good job #14…..
kids a David Rosen type and if no one speaks up we all lose

29 AnniMouse April 26, 2012 at 4:39 PM

Although we can steer our kids in the right way, at least the direction we feel is right, there will always be influences that we can’t control 100% of the time. My 7 year old told me of playground talk of the F and MF words – she doesn’t know what they are, but knows they are likely worthy of a deposit into the vacation fund jar. She flipped her daddy off today and asked him what it meant. So, front yard or school, it’s everywhere… and it starts early. I think I’ll make a pie tonight too!

30 K April 26, 2012 at 4:44 PM

real housewife-i don’t’ think it’s unrealistic to expect kids not to use bad language EVER…EVEN AS TEENAGERS. my husband and i certainly don’t use it, and our expectation for our children is that they won’t either. no matter what their age is. i realize that we can’t control everything that they hear, but we certainly can teach that they have control about what comes out of THIER mouths. Besides, with a little education, you can come up with a lot more creative words.

31 What Security April 26, 2012 at 5:00 PM

How do you deal with the Nosey neighbor who keeps coming over every day Hello can I borrow this and can I borrow tha..t hey how ya doing etc.
It’s bitter sweet.. Nice but you know

32 Elwood April 26, 2012 at 5:35 PM

What Concord Mom said!

I had the same situation next door. The protagonist in that scenario is now doing life without because he felt it was easier to off his supplier than pay him. Things quieted down a lot after that.

I learned a new word from the cops. One of the many times I called one of the officers said “Let’s go talk to the scumbag”.

Keep calling, and calling and calling. Eventually it works.

33 concord original April 26, 2012 at 5:39 PM

Retreating to the backyard or inside or moving out to rent elsewhere is WRONG. This is how it all begins, fight, fight fight for whats right. I’ve lived here 50 plus years, concord has gone downhill, but running allows the cancer to spread, do what you can and whats right to run the lowlifes out. This website is a good start.

34 j April 26, 2012 at 5:42 PM

Omg so sad. No matter what your kids will hear bad words, you just need to teach them what you expect in your house hold. My kids hear bad words and know not to repeat them.

To fight music with music, you will be Just as bad.

Don’t like the smell, go back inside or your backyard.

I own my house and will live and do what I want.
Don’t like it……….sorry for ya.

35 Anon April 26, 2012 at 5:52 PM

Hey #2 and #3 – Learn how to spell….#2 “quite” … is really spelled “quiet” and #3…”there” should be “their”. Love this column!

36 #35 April 26, 2012 at 6:31 PM

They’re, there, their, don’t get upset because of someone with a low iq.

37 Always Right April 26, 2012 at 6:37 PM

Good for you, real housewife. You and your husband don’t have to put up with foul language in earshot of your kids.

The best way to deal with obnoxious neighborhood kids is to engage them in a positive way whenever you can – say hi, wave, smile, be friendly. When the occassion comes to tell them to quiet down or stop the foul language, address them by their first name and tell them what you want them to do. 95% of the time they will respond in an appropriate manner.

38 KenInConcord April 26, 2012 at 6:42 PM

Play religious worship music! It upsets the demon’s embedded deep within their souls!

Funny thing. 7-11 tried everything to stop kids from hanging out in front of their stores. Nothing worked. Then they changed the light bulbs to a funky light that made every pimple glow, and their skin a sickly shade yellow. One week later no more teenagers!!

The official answer was they changed to these “insect repellant bulbs” to keep the bugs away!

It worked….

39 Larrabee April 26, 2012 at 6:44 PM

Apparently bay leaves are quite versatile. I remember George Carlin recommending their use,…as deodorant. “Just put a bay leaf under each arm. It doesn’t stop you from perspiring, but you smell like soup!”

40 Pinky April 26, 2012 at 8:18 PM

Krispy Kreme was so annoying when I went. It was opening day and I thought I would pick up donuts for my office on my way into work. Luckily I was early and not much of a line, but the guy taking the drive thru orders could not hear anything I was trying to say. I had gone there with the intent of getting 1 1/2 dozen assorted (that I was going to pick out) and a drink for me. Well after what felt like trying to yell my order for forever I ended up getting only a dozen of whatever assorted ones *they* picked out and no drink. There was a line of cars behind me at this point and I was mortified. Probably not going back. There’s a donut shop closer to my house and $2 cheaper should I ever feel the need to pick up a dozen. Whatever microphone they have in the drive thru is useless, especially with the freeway right there.

41 For the Krispy Kremers April 26, 2012 at 9:04 PM

For the “Krispy Kremers”.
Those donuts are full of air. For your edification, take one of their donuts and weigh it, then take a comparable donut from a traditional shop and weigh that one. You’ll find the KK to be much lighter, and they cost more.

42 Elwood April 26, 2012 at 10:27 PM

@ anon #35

Small minds with nothing to say correct typos, spelling etc.

43 MO April 27, 2012 at 3:52 AM

The Polka Music is a good start.
Your front porch flood light..pointed at the neighbors house all night.
Cameras on your garage pointing at the neighbors (disguise them)…
Record the noise.
Keep a log of dates and times.
Call the cops each time you need to, and keep a log of that.

I watched the demise of beautiful Concord, for the last 10 years that my Mom lived there (she was there 55 years in the same house)…we finally sold the house and moved her here to flyover country…to backward, redneck, hick country where folks respect their neighbors…or like me have no neighbors…Even the schools are great. Might not be so ”cool”, but its much safer and life is easier and the air is clean.

I get a newsletter from a Concord realtor in my email…15 months ago we got everything we asked for the house…good profit. I see that the longer you wait to make a change and get the hell out of Dodge…the more money you will lose.

Don’t complain, don’t waste time…..sell the property you own there and go somewhere nicer. You don’t have to even leave CA .. go north and east.

If you want a better life, you have to do something more than whine…
Standing your ground and hoping the ghetto leaves Concord before the value of your property drops to zero, is wishful thinking….And when you leave you will probably find a lower cost of living…

Good blog today…points out the reasons not to live in Claycord……You don’t have to put up with miserable living conditions….you can do something about it….why stress about noise and safety and a lousy school district, when you could change it for the better? Move.

44 @ anon 35 April 27, 2012 at 6:31 AM

It’s because of people like you (spelling police) that some people don’t post.

45 Horse'n Around April 27, 2012 at 7:13 AM

I like what Ken in Concord said. Play some religious music really loud. Also you shouldn’t have to have your children play in the back yard because of these little brats. Stick up for you and your family,and don’t quit fighting.

46 DoReMi April 27, 2012 at 7:45 AM

There is an old saying, if you want the neighbors to be passified with your noise, invite them to the party. Or something like that. Join them! Be as obnoxious and opinionated as hell, with a smile of course. ;-)

Noise pollution is a real threat to urbanites. I cannot express enough how important is is to be respectful of neighbors and household members with regards to this. Plus, I have never understood the gathering and partying on the front lawn approach. That is what a backyard or living room is for.

47 your neighbor April 27, 2012 at 8:21 AM

@Larrabee…LOL…coffee coming through my nose! Good one!

48 the real superman April 27, 2012 at 8:29 AM

@ Air head 35 thanks

49 Chester E. Kitty April 27, 2012 at 8:53 AM

Polka music is a GREAT idea!!

And for you idiots that think no one gardens in the front yard … you’ve got to be kidding? You are probably the ones that have a dirt front yard!

And for you other idiots that said “you are naive to think your kids won’t hear swearing until they are teens, blah, blah, blah …” There is absolutely nothing wrong with Real Housewife not wanting her kids to hear that CRAP! Personally I am WAY over my teens and I don’t want to hear that CRAP!!

Real Housewife … I’m really sorry that you have neighbors like that. There isn’t a whole lot you can do but take the suggestion of one of the earlier comments and move. That kind of thing made me move once. But it’s a shame! Although as I said earlier … the polka music idea is great!

50 Well... April 27, 2012 at 9:33 AM

if you make it obvious that you are filming them and taking pictures, the kids may stop or go to a friends house. My neighbor did this for a drug house on our street and they have moved on.

Don’t bash the people who want KK. If they want to wait in line- who cares? I eat them because I think they taste better than any donut out there. But that is my personal opinion. Keep your beliefs out of my life. I hate, hate, HATE Peets coffee but I would never tell someone to not go there.

Also, gardening is only veggies. Flower gardens need tending to.

51 People are Strange April 27, 2012 at 11:22 AM

Yes! Blast Raffi or some other kind of kids music. So funny.

52 Grateful Wife April 27, 2012 at 1:00 PM

Hey CHWife,
Another great post.
Hopefully, soon the creepy neighbor will be gone. Hang tough.

53 Another Hater April 27, 2012 at 1:09 PM

I thought your contract was up? This column sucked this week, BIG TIME.

54 Sum1 April 27, 2012 at 2:00 PM

It must be all the MEN who are being so RUDE. You should not be reading this unless youre trying to be a real housewife.

55 Fidel Castro April 27, 2012 at 2:17 PM

The answer to your question is simple.

Either Move or stop Whining.

If you cannot move due to financial hardships which I assume is your problem due to the Mall job, than stop bitching. If you cannot stop bitching due to you being a stupid whiney entitled brat than jump off of a cliff.

Pretty soon you will realize that you are well on your way to being that neighbor that no one likes.

56 jtkatec April 27, 2012 at 3:07 PM

DoReMi, that brings back a memory of a cocktail party I once attended at a neighbors. It was a group of fanatics, and man, they hated everyone and everybody. Really radical and scary group.

I kept nodding and smiling as I moved slowly to the door, thinking I might get lynched if I expressed an opinion which was contrary to the group. Scared the heck out of me. Always wondered if some government agency didn’t have these folks on a watch list.

Excellent idea.

57 Sandy April 27, 2012 at 3:16 PM

Call the cops! Let them know (cops not neighbors) that you will keep calling. It is disturbing the peace.

Don’t play music or you lose with the cops. Also disturbing the peace.

Finally, there is a teachable moment there. Kids might find out something or say something you don’t want them to. Use it! Teach them there is a time and place for everything, this neighbor kid clearly missed that lesson. And remember, you tell them whatever is age appropriate. Just because your 6 year old asks what “going down on” someone means, does not mean you have to tell them the whole story. Don’t lie but you can say something that is private or whatever.

I personally would talk directly to the kid. Explain about your little kids and give him a chance to do the right thing. He might just surprise you! If not, call the cops as many times and you need. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

58 pinup April 27, 2012 at 5:08 PM

Try Light Christian Rock played loudly.

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